Every month I preview a list of the new movies that will be coming to the Box and Redbox On Demand, and when I saw there was a theatrical home release of a documentary called Street Gang, I have to admit that from its title alone, I was expecting the opposite of what it’s actually about: the making of the beloved PBS children’s series Sesame Street. That’s what inspired this post — now that I know what Street Gang is really about, I started thinking about “movie opposites,” and who would win in a smackdown between their characters.
In these six movie-opposite matchups, which film’s characters do you think would win in a throwdown?
Godzilla vs. Kong vs. Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street – So we’ve got two of the most terrifying kaiju of all time against … furry, colorful Muppets like Oscar the Grouch, Bert and Ernie and their puppeteers. But my money’s still on the Sesame Street crew. Why? Because remember that Godzilla and Kong are busy fighting each other. I imagine Big Bird and Elmo sitting Godzilla and Kong down for a chat about the importance of working together and seeing past differences, followed by a cheerful song. Kindness always wins!
The Sandlot vs. It – In the carefree days of summer for the Sandlot kids, the worst thing they have to worry about is losing their prized baseball to the vicious hound who lives in the scary house behind the fence. Whereas the kids in It have to face down a DEMONIC KILLER CLOWN. So while I personally like The Sandlot better, I’d want the kids from It by my side in any fight.
Van Helsing vs. Monsters – This matchup pits a big-budget Hollywood spectacle against a low-budget indie, with both revolving around monsters. In Van Helsing, you’ve got Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale as monster hunters (think werewolves and vampires) backed by a cool $160 million for production, whereas Monsters had not-nearly-as-well-known actors Scoot McNairy and Whitney Able attempting to evade an alien-monster invasion in Mexico with nothing but courage, creativity and a $500,000 budget to back them up. Well, they also benefited from an up-and-coming director, Gareth Edwards, who would go on to make Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 6 years later. My money is on the scrappy underdogs, so I’m going with the wily characters from Monsters who aren’t worried about looking sexy while staying alive!
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off vs. Election – Weirdly enough, Matthew Broderick stars in both of these movies. As the title character in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, he’s a high school slacker who everyone loves. In Election, he’s still in high school, but only this time he’s a social studies teacher who cannot stand the obnoxious overachieving student Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon) who’s running for student body president and is pretty much the opposite of Ferris Bueller. In Election, everyone’s worst selves are on full display, so I would definitely pick Ferris and his friends to go into battle with me. Ferris would simply charm and disarm anyone who tries to step to us.
The Devil Wears Prada vs. The Big Lebowski – Now let’s look at what happens when people like Tracy Flick and Ferris Bueller grow up. In The Devil Wears Prada, we’ve got people like high-fashion magazine editor Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) making work a living hell for her underlings — including Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt. In The Big Lebowski, we’ve got an LA-based slacker and bowling enthusiast named The Dude (Jeff Bridges) who gets mistakenly wrapped up in a kidnapping and ransom scheme. Miranda rules by fear, while The Dude inspires loyalty through his overall zen-ness. (There is literally a book co-written by Jeff Bridges called The Dude and the Zen Master.) So I’m going to stick with the guy who might actually care if live or die. The Dude abides … and wins this matchup.
The Goonies vs. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – And finally we come to a battle between the energy of youth and the wisdom that can only come with having lived for several decades. While the kids in The Goonies work together to solve the pirate One-Eyed Willy’s mysteries in order to save their hometown from developers, the elderly residents at Jaipur, India’s “exotic retirement home” face an even bigger challenge: finding themselves and coming to terms with their life choices. I’m going to call this one a tie, because I think each set of characters brings equally strong qualities to the matchup. What I’d really love to see is The Goonies and the British pensioners from the hotel teaming up. Imagine the power of everyone doing the Truffle Shuffle, followed by a spot of perfectly brewed tea!