The Cold Meds Do Me In: Rob Schneider, Future Oscar Contender?

I've always had a soft spot/strange fascination with comedians turned serious actors, the more ridiculous the performer, the more interesting their conversion to "Actor." The big obvious examples would be folks like Woody Allen, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Will Ferrell, Bill Murray, Steve Martin, and one of my favorites, Adam Sandler. Red Buttons and Whoopi Goldberg have even won Oscars for playing it semi-serious. (Though the validity of Goldberg's Ghost win has often been the subject of much Hollywood rumor, right up there with Marisa Tomei's for My Cousin Vinny. The early '90s were a murky time Oscar-wise.)

Fact is, most comedians are pretty dark, tortured souls deep down inside, and once they make it big pulling funny faces (and their fingers) a lot of them want to let their inner sad clown out. However, even I've never thought this theory would apply to Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. After all, Rob Schneider's never seemed to have any sort of inner anything to let out.

Then, for some reason I'm still hard-pressed to explain (I'm going to blame it on a week-long head cold and some very suspect generic-brand cold meds), I found myself watching the new DTV sex "comedy" American Virgin over the weekend.

You don't need much of a review of American Virgin: the title tells you everything you need to know about its plot, quality, and American Pie-Last American Virgin marketing aspirations. It's a crude, humorless lump of the usual hijinks, about an abstinence-obsessed young woman who goes to college and is immediately drawn into the hedonistic den of iniquity that is the freshman dorm party. The girl is played by the somewhat winning Jenna Dewan (who might be able to shake this off and have some sort of semi-respectable career), but the only real "name" on the DVD box is Schneider's.

The fallen SNL alum deviates from his usual career path of depending on Sandler giving him bit parts in Happy Madison flicks (there's another one coming up next year: Grown Ups) to play Ed Kurtzman, a clear riff on Girls Gone Wild Uber Creep Joe Francis. Kurtzman runs Chicks Go Crazy, hopping from college town to college town filming drunk girls taking their tops off for free T-shirts and ball caps.

Not much of a stretch for Schneider, you might say, but here's the really crazy thing: he's intermittently good in the role. Not really funny, but good. Schneider is getting older, his face is more drawn thin and haggard, and he looks tired. Which works perfectly in the admittedly slight role of a low-budget video pornographer. Schneider as Kurtzman comes off all sexist bravado and smutty leering, but under all the oogling of fake breasts there's the genuine weary sadness of a guy who knows he's wasted his life and secretly just wants out from under the self-loathing.

Mind you, I'm probably reading way too much into all this. (Again, we can blame over-the-counter cold meds.) For the most part Schneider is in American Virgin for exactly the reasons you'd expect: to add a semi-recognizable name to the credits and to provide some sleazy laughs. It's still a not-so-special performance (comic or otherwise) in a truly forgettable film.

But mark my words, there's something in Schneider's own career-trolling through the dregs of the movie comedy business that someone in the next five years or so is going to pick up on and put to good use in a serio-comic role. I'm not saying Schneider has hidden acting ability--I'm saying that as he ages to the point where his elfin wackiness is coming off more pathetic and sad than even before, the right director and right role might do something very interesting with him. Maybe not an actual award nomination, but at least one of those entertainment magazine profiles around 2015 noting how "the one-time SNL funnyman and male gigolo hit the bottom and found career redemption by crying instead of laughing."

And at this point I realize I've just written almost 700 words about why Rob Schneider should be given a chance to play a serious role based on his performance in American Virgin. I need to stop now and do some of my own heavy thinking about my cold med use. And maybe take a nap. And a shower. Perhaps at the same time.

Comments

[Fiirvoen]

Dear God, you've lost it, man. This is interesting in a way that makes me question my own sanity.

[Livia]

Sandra Bullock should be nominated for "Best Actress" for All about Steve or The Proposal, either one. Ms. Bullock did great in those films. Ms. Bullock just does great, I've seen most of her films that she was in presently and she did a great performance in both of her films, don't know about her upcoming film It's Complicated-in theatres Nov. 20 which I will see if it's not rated R. Ms. Bullock is a great actress!

[Spaz]

Interesting piece. I've been a bit of a fan of Schneider's but have grown tired of him -- rather quickly, too. I too love to see comedians go straight. Some of them turn out to be very talented.

[JGM]

Rob Schneider barely registers on my consciousness, so can't comment there, but you make a good point about comedians-turned-serious-actors. One notable example you missed is Jerry Lewis, who was rather stunning in Scorcese's The King of Comedy.

As far as unlikely comedians who haven't yet done drama but seem like they could, I'll see your Schneider and raise you a Seth Green.

[Aly]

Lay off those cold meds! I disagree about this actor, sorry to say. He's done waaaay too many flops and has been way too many different types of crazy characters (from giglio to woman). I think he dug his own to not get better roles by choosing these types of movies.

Sandra Bullock IS doing better but in no way deserves any award. Sorry, Livia, I really disagree there, but she could take/get better roles. I would choose her over Jennifer Aniston any day. Their acting quality is similar.

[Locke Peterseim]

Good point, JGM--I knew I was forgetting a number of comics-turned-serious-actors and Lewis in King of Comedy is a big one. Also, of course, Eddie Murphy in things like Dreamgirls and Jack Black in Jesus's Son and Margot at the Wedding.