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Saturday Night Drive-in: 100 Feet

Sadly, the 100 Feet in the title does not refer to mysterious severed limbs washing up on the shores of British Columbia. No, it’s the distance Famke Janssen’s character Marnie can amble from her home before her ankle alarm goes off. See, a few years ago Marnie put an end to her husband’s abuse by putting an end to him. Unfortunately for her, he was not only Michael Paré, but he was also a cop and so the wheels of justice sorta rolled back over her.

Marnie did some time in prison and now is back in her and her late husband’s home to serve out the rest of her sentence under house imprisonment. But it turns out her late husband's ghost hasn’t moved on either. (You think it's easy to kill Michael Paré? Did you even see Eddie and the Cruisers?) For whatever reasons— undying love of his home’s wood moldings? a lack of donuts in Cop Hell?—his (mean)spirit is hanging around threatening her. So now, unable to leave the house, Marnie’s in the annoyingly redundant position of having to kill him again.

Famke Janssen is one of those utilitarian actresses whose strong physical presence sometimes makes her seem a better actress than she really is. She’s still a tall, striking beauty with an intense stare, and she’s always held up her end of the bargain just fine when she’s in support or an ensemble, as in the X-Men films. But putting her front and center to carry a film in which she’s in every scene is asking a bit too much. You can only look sternly exasperated and resolutely panicked so much before it wears thin. Janssen is decent in 100 Feet, but not good enough to make up for the lack of anything else going on around her in the movie.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

[THE FOLLOWING IS A REPRINT OF REDBLOG'S REVIEW OF ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS DURING ITS THEATRICAL RELEASE LAST SUMMER. ICE AGE: DOTD IS NOW ON DVD AND AVAILABLE FOR RENTAL IN THE REDBOXES.]

I admit I never gave much thought to the Ice Age movies—I dimly recall seeing the first one, skipped the second one, and was trying to come up with any reason at all not to see the latest, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.

But since it was in a tight race for first place at the box office and since my two illustrious co-writers here at redblog were off enjoying (or not) the grown-up treats of Public Enemies, and in order to steer my four-year-old nephew off his constant pleadings to see Transformers 2, I ended up seeing Ice Age: Dinos on a 3D screen. And then watching Ice Age 2: The Meltdown the next day.

And you know what? I certainly didn’t hate either of them. I’m not much of a Ray Romano fan (no, everyone certainly does not love Raymond), and Fox’s Ice Age franchise has always just reeked a bit too much of carefully calculated, test-screened and focus-grouped slick product. But as millions of parents have learned, if you’re going to have to watch a non-Pixar animated movie 100 times a year on DVD, these Ice Age flicks aren’t the worst that could happen.

Oh, I’m sure the Ice Age mix of Looney Tunes-style slapstick and treacly, heartwarming message wears thin after about the 50th kid-mandated viewing, but I found Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs a decent time-passer, filled with enough nonstop, kinda nonsensical, wacky humor and good-old-fashioned adventure to stave off adult-onset boredom. No, it’s probably not better than Ice Age 2: The Meltdown, but only by a few shades less, and only in that way that all franchises start to wear threadbare and thin by their third go-round.

I’m not sure the plot matters much, nor did it seem to matter to the filmmakers (co-directors Carlos Saldanha from IA2 and Mike Thurmeier from the Scrat short No Time For Nuts), but here goes: Mammoths Manny (Romano) and Ellie (Queen Latifah) are expecting a Woolly bundle of baby Snuffleupagus (leading Manny to construct a playground while displaying some pretty impressive tool and art skills for a prehistoric pachyderm).

A feeling-left-out Sid goes off and stumbles onto a trio of dino eggs. Sid plays “mom,” the eggs hatch, the baby Rexes are adorably chaotic, Mama Rex comes back to fetch them (in a scene that, when it comes to conveying the awesome size and heft of a stomping T-Rex, is almost as visually impressive as anything in the Jurassic Park films or King Kong), and ends up hauling hapless Sid back to her Lost World, a Conan-Doyle-esque tropical underground land time forgot. So our friendly herd-family heads down under to rescue Sid.

What? It could happen.

What Men and Boys and Chippendales Dancers Want?

Last week New Line announced a pitch for a new Selena Gomez project called What Boys Want, about a teenage girl who can hear what Mel Gibson is thinking. (SPOILER! It ain't pretty!)

Well, no, actually Mel isn't involved. The movie instead will take the premise of Gibson's 2000 What Women Want, flip it, and set it in high school. Gomez is, of course, part of the latest Disney crop of young stars (as Zac and Miley fly the coop). (And no, I would not know that if I didn't have a teenage niece who grew up glued to the Disney Channel. Oh, you should have seen the hi-larious battles for the remote when I was babysitting and High School Musical and Blade Runner were on at the same time.)

But no sooner had the ink on the Gomez Want news dried then rumors started swirling that Paramount has its own take on the Gibson film (the second-highest grossing rom-com of all time!) in the hopper: According to Pajiba.com's sources, a script is being written for a What Women Want sequel, to star Cameron Diaz and to be call, natch, What Men Want.

So it's going to be a live-action adaptation of every issue of Maxim magazine ever published and every beer or truck commercial ever aired? What do we want? We want to go fishing and drink beer and eat sandwiches all day then come home and grill things and watch movies and sports and play video games on wide-screen HD. (Says the guy who used to read books in the fishing boat and still takes a stack of them with him fishing in Canada--though for the cabin now, not the boat.) Men (and women) out there, what am I forgetting? Or rather, what am I forgetting that we can mention in a family-ish blog?

So we've got the teenage What Boys Want and the grown-up What Men Want. How about complete the trilogy with What Grumpy Old Men Want? (That's easy. To sleep all night without having to get up to pee.)

Finally comes the news that Tony Scott is planning to direct a film about the Chippendales dancers. That's right,  everyone who was clamoring for a male version of Showgirls, your prayers are finally answered. Actually, that may not be the worst comparison. Whereas Showgirls was directed by Paul Verhoven of Total Recall, Basic Instinct, and Robocop fame, Scott of course is the director of Top Gun, True Romance, and most recently the remake of The Taking of Pelham 123.

And the story Scott wants to tell is less glistening shaved chests and more gritty greed and paranoia. It will be about the creator of the Chippendales strip clubs, Somen "Steve" Banerjee. A Native American night club impresario, Banerjee became filthy rich off the men's revue. But consumed by success and excess, he eventually hired a hit man to kill his choreographer partner and two other former Chippendales dancers he felt were his competition. However the hit man was an FBI informant, the plot failed, and Banerjee ended up hanged to death in jail while awaiting trial in 1994. Wheee! So think more along the lines of Boogie Nights than the bare-chested joy of a Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley dance-off.

Freeze Frame

I promised easy, I'm giving you easy.

For those of you who are new to our weekly Freeze Frame challenge, all you have to do is take a look-see at the three stills below, and then -- via the comments link at the end of this post -- enter in your guesses as to what movies they're from.  The first person to name all three will win: the right to brag to his or her friends, the honor of making an aluminum foil trophy for themselves, AND the respect that comes from having one's name published in bold here on redblog.

Enough with the explanations.  This week's images are:

Movie #1

Movie #2

Movie #3

Easy, yes?  Or did I misjudge your movie-recognizing skillz?

We shall see who rose to the occasion come Monday when I announce the winner.  I will hold all entries until that point.  And remember, even if you're not first to submit the correct titles, if you tell me what the link is between the three films, you'll get to hammer out a Common Thread Button o' Pride pin to wear proudly at work and use in your negotiations to get a raise or year-end bonus.  OK, maybe the pin would actually hurt you in that situation.  But you could still wear it around your house -- your pet will be impressed, I'm sure of it.

Good luck!

Thursday Threes: The Answer

Ah, yesterday's Threes might have been teed up a bit too high--whole bunches of you clobbered it. But the fastest clobbering was done by Threes Champion Donna, first with the correct answer and scooping up yet another homemade construction-paper medal to add to what is now, I would guess, a fairly unmanageable pile! Congrats, Donna, and somewhat lesser congrats to Doris Sabol and Janelle Loucks, who came in second and third.

So what actor was in Indecent Proposal, The Last Samurai, and Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events? Ah, take a little spin on the ol' Inviso-Text!

It sure was Scottish comedian and actor Billy Connolly, reprising his role as Il Duce this weekend in The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. (Which opens in limited release today and may expand to more theaters in the future. More on the whole Boondock Saints thing at the end of this entry).

I've been a fan of Connolly's for a while, first seeing him in stand-up shows here in the U.S. in the late '80s, early '90s (naturally, he was a bigger deal in Scotland and England before that). He even briefly replaced Howard Hesseman as the teacher on Head of the Class in 1990. (To give you and idea of the gap between Connolly's British fame and American break-out, in 1992, as we here in the States were just starting to notice him, he was celebrating his 25th anniversary show back home. Before he became a comedian, Connolly was a folk singer, paired for a while with Gerry Rafferty.)

Soon after that, Connolly started to get small parts in U.S. films, including playing the host of an auction in 1993's Indecent Proposal (the one where Woody Harrelson sold his wife Demi Moore to Robert Redford for a weekend). He also appeared (with Dame Judy Dench and young-ish fellow Scotsman Gerald Butler) in Mrs. Brown, about Queen Victoria, as well as in the aforementioned cult hit The Boondock Saints, but one of my favorite Connolly roles is as the aging roadie in Still Crazy.

Still Crazy also featured Timothy Spall (best known these days for playing Wormtail in the Harry Potter films)--it's one of three films Spall and Connolly have acted in together, the other two being The Last Samurai, and Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. (Connolly played Uncle Monty in the latter.) I swear I did not include a couple Connolly-Spall projects to throw you guys off, though I was secretly pleased it did. (Luckily I've used Still Crazy in other Threes in the past, or I might have gone with it as well this time and inadvertently put up the first dual-answer Threes.)

So before we go, let me ask a sincere question about this whole Boondocks Saints thing. With the sequel opening this weekend, it's brought back up that massive divide between people (those evil "critics") who find Troy Duffy's little vengeance-vigilante action film pretty bad, and those very vehement fans who not only love it, but can be very, very, um... emotional about how much they love it. (Someone on Twitter suggested a face-off between Boondock fans--mostly males in their 20s and 30s--and Twilight fans, and frankly I'd pay for PPV to see something like a Boonies-Twihards battle royale cage match go down.)

But I'm asking honestly, if there are some huge Boondock Saints fans out there who've read this far, drop me a line in the comments section here, maybe toss in why you like the film(s) so much, and I might be in touch about a piece I want to do trying to understand the Saints cult phenomenon with quotes from a smattering sample of it's very dedicated fans. (No promises though--as regular readers know, most of my big planned redblog pieces never actually make it to the page.)

The Rocchi Files -- Winter Comedy Preview!

Winter may be larded and filled with Oscar contenders, to be sure, but Hollywood -- knowing that a little desert makes the broccoli go down -- has made sure to fill the winter Oscar-qualifying and Oscar-waiting season with a few comedies to break up the drama and depression. There's plenty of funny stuff if you know where to look -- with, of course, the warning that you may not find the same things funny as Hollywood. ...

The Men Who Stare at Goats (Nov. 6)

Packed with an all-star cast - including George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey --this comedy would be absolutely unbelievable, if it weren't all true. Based on journalist John Ronson's book, The Men Who Stare at Goats tells the true tale of the U.S. Military's Cold-War era experiments in creating psychic soldiers who could spy and kill with the power of their minds alone. McGregor's a journalist who tracks down Clooney's ex-psychic, while Bridges and Spacey butt heads over how the psychic soldier program should continue -- or if it should at all. The Men Who Stare at Goats has been getting some play on the festival circuit -- I saw it in Toronto -- and while it's a bit uneven, there's a few solid laughs in it, especially when Clooney plays the silly psychic stuff .... perfectly ... straight.

Did You Hear About the Morgans? (Dec. 18)

Directed by Marc Lawrence -- who's previously struck gold with Hugh Grant in Two Week's Notice and Music and Lyrics -- Did You Hear About the Morgans? has a plot as old as the hills, the fish-out-of-water-but-in-trouble. The unhappily married Morgans (Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker) of New York are witnesses to a mob murder, and have to be put into witness relocation. Together. In Wyoming. Sure, it all sounds a little too much -- the odds that the Morgans will reunite seem approximately the same as that of the sunrise tomorrow -- but Grant and Parker are always reliable. More interestingly, the supporting cast is amazing -- Sam Elliott, Mary Steenburgen and Elizabeth Moss of Mad Men, for starters -- and as theaters get crowded with Oscar contenders, Did You Hear about the Morgans? might be the down-home vacation from deep, dark movies that audiences want.

Your Thursday Threes

Howdy, Thursday evening! Let's play the Threes!

I give you three films, you tell me what single actor was in all three of them.

Enter your guess in the comments section directly below this post, and if you are the first with the correct answer you score the homemade construction-paper medal! Right after you make the homemade construction-paper medal.

I won't publish any guesses until tomorrow when I put the correct answer up.

What actor was in:

Indecent Proposal

The Last Samurai

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Can You Be a Better Transformer?Improve Your Giant Smashin' Robot Movie with This Cosmo redblog Quiz!

So you think you're a pretty good Transformers movie? You made more than $400 million at the box office in America alone, you're stompin' all over the DVD charts. You're looking good and doin' fine.

But are you really the best Giant Smashin' Robot Movie you can be? Are you giving your viewers everything they need in the theater or the home-entertainment center? Never fear, redblog's here to help! Just take our Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen quiz and see how you measure up!

1. With Charlton Heston dead, you need a new all-knowing, Biblical voice of authority for your film's narrator. Who do you get?

a. James Earl Jones

b. Wilford Brimley

c. A giant space robot that looks like a Peterbuilt truck

2. You are in a Transformers movie and suddenly find yourself moving in super slo-motion. What is happening?

a. Something is blowing up behind you.

b. A giant robot has died.

c. Megan Fox is running in a tank top.

3. Can you ever have too many helicopters in a movie? Y / N

4. Is there any film scene that cannot be improved by the addition of helicopters? Y / N

5. That is a lovely helicopter. May I ask where you got it? ______________________

6. In film making "establishing shots" are:

a. Long shots of a set that help the viewer understand where things are in relation to one another

b. An essential part of visual storytelling

c. For wussies

The quiz continues over the jump!

The Close-up Poster Answer

Now that's more like it! I think I really found the sweet spot this week--about 20 of you guessed and about a third of you got it right.

And lots of fun guesses. In fact just as many people incorrectly guessed The Abyss as named the right film. Meanwhile, some of those who did get it right said it was "too easy." And yet... So from my point of view, a perfect contest.

Aaron Wood was first with the correct answer--Pat, Nick, Jason Jennings, Matt Doman, Larry P, and Michelle also got it right. Congrats all of ya!

So what movie's poster is this image from?

 

I really thought it was a no-brainer, but then it IS from my favorite movie of all time, so I'm biased. Let's pull back a bit and I think most of you will have it:

No problem now, right? Follow me over the jump for the full poster.

redblog Readers Who Rock: Jason (aka "Fiirvoen")

Today I am très excited to introduce one of our most loyal redblog readers, commenters and Threes players: Jason/Fiirvoen.

Read on to learn the story behind his most unusual handle...

Name: Jason Clark

Posts as (username): I started out posting as Jason, but then switched to the handle I’ve been using online for the last several years: Fiirvoen. It’s actually Five Iron with the words spaced out and superimposed over each other. F, i, I, r, V, o, E, n. Five Iron Frenzy was my favorite band when I made it up my freshman year of college.

Age: 24

Location: Broken Arrow, OK (Just outside Tulsa)

Occupation: I work for a Tulsa-based website company as a content writer.

When did you start using redbox, and how did you find out about us?

My wife and I first discovered redbox at a Mickey D’s on the way to Chicago. A week later, they were appearing in Tulsa, and we LOVE them!

How close is the redbox you usually go to?

There are at least 4 that we use regularly, all within about three miles of our house. The closest is less than half a mile away.

What five movies would you want on a deserted island (deserted... except for a TV and a DVD player and one electrical outlet)?

The Princess Bride

Sgt. Bilko (for nostalgic reasons)

Castaway (for practical purposes)

The Fifth Element

#5 is a tie between Ocean’s Twelve and Spirited Away

... Or maybe Dune (the ‘84 version, because it has Picard in it, and to spite Locke)

What joy is there in life, if one is not able to spite Locke on a near-daily basis?  I kid, I kid.  (Or do I?)  Any movie you particularly despise?

Pauly Shore is Dead. I feel that it was a shameless attempt at being clever and it failed miserably. I only wish he had included some kind of disclaimer like at the beginning of The Libertine.  “You will hate me before this story is over…I mean more than you do now.”

You know what?  I bet Locke would second that one.  See?  We CAN all agree on something!  Let's move on to your favorite actor -- who is it?

Maybe Paul Bettany… or Alan Tudyk. That’s really a tough question to answer. I’m not really a “single most favorite” kind of guy. I’ve liked Brad Pitt in everything I’ve ever seen him in…

And your favorite actress?

Well, when I was a hormone-driven teenager, it was Milla Jovovich. But after seeing a few of the Resident Evil films and laughing my way through the awfulness of Ultraviolet, I can’t say that she is with a straight face anymore. I like Amy Adams quite a bit. I also think Jewel Staite from Serenity is highly underrated. I would love to see more of her on the big screen. I’ve always been partial to Zooey Deschanel despite her typecasting.