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9:33 -- Will Smith is still giving out post-production awards. 100 Most Outrageous Moments 2 must be nearing it's top 20 by now, right? Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Editing. The Button surge is puttering out.
9:41 -- Eddie Murphy gets to hold an Oscar. He's giving Jerry Lewis his humanitarian life-time achievement award for his work raising funds to fight muscular dystrophy. I'd never noticed how young Lewis looks like fallen Illinois ex-governor Rod Blagojevich. Only Lewis was more restrained and stable.
9:50 -- An orchestral presentation of the nominated scores. Bill Conti is not at the baton this year, hence the noticeable lack of winner-vs.-conductor showdowns tonight. Zach Ephron and Alicia Keys give out the award. (What, did Miley kneecap Hudgens in the ladies room?) Slumdog's A.R. Rahman wins.
9:55 -- The Best Song medley, the one Peter Gabriel pouted himself out of. New mommy M.I.A. is...yep, wait for it... M.I.A. Har! Har! It's getting late, the Swedish Fish aren't working anymore. The high-energy Bollywood-meets-Hollywood performance of "Jai Ho" almost revives me, but now I'm back to mainlining diet Dew. "Jai Ho" from Slumdog wins.
10:06 -- Departures from Japan wins Best Foreign Language film. And here I had all my Israel-Gaza jokes ready to go, assuming Waltz With Bashir was a lock.
10:11 -- Queen Latifah sings "I'll Be Seeing You" over the Death Parade. Half the names during the montage are too small to read -- oops, sorry about that, dead folks! Better luck next... um, next time you die. Sydney Pollack and Paul Newman get the coveted final slots (and the biggest applause) in the montage.
10:18 -- Reese Witherspoon is frightening the children. Seriously, she looks like she's about to eat human brains. She gives Danny Boyle his Best Director Oscar for Slumdog. Boyle jumps up and down at the podium. He says it's his Tigger hop for his kids, but I think he's really trying to scare off Reese Witherspoon.
10:22 --The Best Actress presentation crew is Sophia Loren, Marion Cotillard, Halle Berry, Shirley Maclaine, and Nicole Kidman. All the demographics are covered: old, French, sexy, crazy, and plastic. As she introduces Angelina Jolie, an unblinking Nicole Kidman secretly sends out a high-frequency message to her alien-robot overlords. Kate Winslet wins for The Reader. Her acceptance speech is very charming. Kidman looks on, clearly jealous of Winslet's genuine human emotions.
10:36 -- Out come the Best Actor presenters: DeNiro; Ben Kingsley... sorry, Sir Ben; Michael Douglas; Anthony Hopkins; and Adrien Brody. Douglas looks very good--he must have renewed his pact with Satan. Sean Penn wins for Milk. Somewhere in Dog Heaven little Loki weeps tiny dead-chihuahua tears.
10:47 -- Spielberg is out talking about fabric and shadows. He's either introducing the Best Picture nominees or his new Spring line. Slumdog Millionaire wins. The orphans of Mumbai will be dancing with joy tonight! Or would be if they had TVs. Or joy.
10:55 -- Done! And under three and a half hours. And only two bags of Swedish Fish! Overall, Jackman did a great job--suave, sexy, and Australian...and his musical numbers were spot-on. I'm guessing he'll become the Crystal-like (or Carson-like) go-to host for the next decade or so, though I'd still like to see Jon Stewart rotated in every third year. As for the awards themselves, I don't think there was a single upset in the major categories--Oscar-predicting and odds-making technology has become so fine-tuned over the years it's hard to sneak a dark horse by anymore.
My husband said "Reese Witherspoon looks like a zombie," so you guys were on the same page on that look of the evening! I found it kind of sickening that Slumdog swept everything. I hate when one movie just crushes all the other ones. Though it was a teeny bit nice to have Brad Pitt AND Angelina "I'm so" Jolie lose. Heh.
Posted by: Jenn | February 22, 2009 at 11:24 PM
Locke! Right on with the best actress category! The Mrs and I both found those 5 minutes...well...friggin' creepy!
Posted by: Martin | February 22, 2009 at 11:44 PM
I absolutely loved Kate Winslet's acceptance speech. I've never thought she has portrayed herself to be anything other than just another girl, albeit an unfairly beautiful one. But she was so normal in her giddiness for having won the award that she was, as you say, charming -- her excitement that left her in constant danger of hyperventilating; her shout-out to her dad, which he replied to with his jealousy-inducing whistle skills; her tongue-tied recognition of Meryl Streep.... Go Kate!
Posted by: Rebecca | February 23, 2009 at 11:39 AM
You crack me up. Truly. However, I'm confused when you say that there weren't any upsets in the major categories. I just finished reading your other review about the Wrestler movie, which I made a point of reading because "everyone" has been saying that Micky Rourke should have won instead of Sean Penn!
Posted by: S L | February 24, 2009 at 03:22 PM
I halfway agree, SL -- in my head Rourke seemed the front runner all winter... but in fact the Vegas odds and most of the prediction articles I read last week were with Penn.
I loved both performances, but what tipped me toward Rourke was that while I thought Milk was a terrific film, The Wrestler was the one that really got me this season.
Which goes to show, you're better off picking the winners WITHOUT ever having seen the films themselves -- it just clouds your judgment with all that "emotional" stuff... :)
Posted by: Locke Peterseim | February 24, 2009 at 05:47 PM
Who gives a [fig] about the Oscars. Get a life.
Posted by: Brian | March 03, 2009 at 09:57 AM