The Women

It's one thing to watch a movie slowly, steadily go off the rails; it's another entirely to watch it go completely wrong in the first five or so minutes. Watching The Women, Diane English's re-make of the 1939 all-female George Cukor comedy, I was pretty much slackjawed at an early gag where, as Annette Bening walks into Sak's Fifth Avenue, we jump to her point of view -- a mechanical, seek-and-buy grid ripped from the Terminator films, where Bening's character can isolate and target Prada bags and other shiny goodies with a high-tech heads-up display showing her pertinent information and price points. I thought Wow, women like to shop. There's a bold observation.

But it wasn't just the tired nature of the gag -- or, rather, either tired (women like to shop, ha ha) or sexist (women like to shop, damn them) nature of the gag -- that threw me off; it was also how completely tonally wrong it was. You're remaking a '30s comedy classic renowned for sparkling wit and acid venom, and you thrown in a joke referencing an '80s science-fiction action film? I wondered if The Women would recover from that initial confusing misstep, but, frankly, it just got worse. English may have worked on re-making The Women for over a decade (one of the DVD's extras explains the tortured, long  route this version of the film took from her pen to the big screen, and English also talks about the film's journey in her commentary), but it feels pretty labored for a labor of love.

The plot of The Women is fairly thin stuff -- magazine editor Annette Bening discovers that her best friend Meg Ryan's husband is having an affair with Sak's salesgirl Eva Mendes, and as Ryan tries to deal with her husband's affair, her friendship with Bening is tested as a phalanx of friends (including Debra Messing and Jada Pinkett Smith) are in the vicinity to toss in the occasional quip or snide remark. The original of The Women made no pretense of being realistic -- adapting Clare Boothe Luce's play, taking place in a world where no men were seen, it's full of zip and zing and mean-spirited good times. This new version -- combining low-blow laughs with high-minded sentimentality -- feels torn in two very different directions at once. We get a scene Mendes is shot like a sports car to emphasize how stunning she is ... and then a discussion about body image in the fashion industry and how it affects young women; you may get whiplash from the hypocrisy.

English's script doesn't help any -- a scene where Bening and Ryan's anger with each other results in an argument where each woman comes around to see the other woman's side while still shouting is clever and showy, but it feels about as real as a three dollar bill.  Several of the supporting characters are underwritten -- Messing is an earth-mother, Pinkett a lipstick lesbian -- and some of the cameos (like Bette Midler's wacky two scenes) feel tacked-on and flabby. Sex and The City may not be perfect, but it at least lets us see the men the female characters love and hate, and gives us the dramatic satisfaction of scenes where couples fight while also giving us the comedy comfort of scenes where friends bond. There's no similar balance in The Women, and after a certain point, the film's device of not having any male characters on-screen -- with one notable exception at the finale -- feels less and less like a bold statement and more and more like a gimmick.

Finally, the characters aren't just isolated; they're unlikable. Ryan's a doormat; Bening's hateful; Messing's naïve; Pinkett-Smith's smug; Mendes is a cheap temptress. If you showed The Women to a space alien who had never met human beings, he would think the female gender of humanity is devoted solely to shouting, shopping, speeches and screeching -- because that's pretty much all you get in this film. If there's a single highlight in the film, it's Cloris Leachman as Ryan's long-suffering, strong, blunt and bemused nanny; if English had given us a film about her alone, I would have far preferred that to the glossy clichés and phony 'tests of character' English serves up with this misshapen, miserable mistake of a re-make.

Comments

[Nski]

This movie stinks! Meg Ryan should have been a clue for me. She can't believe she isn't 22 anymore. Her hair is ridiculous and her idea of acting is to throw her body around like a washing machine agitating.
Why does every movie HAVE to have a gay character? IF it fits the plot....ok, fine, but does Hollywood not know we little people out here know there are gay people in the world?
THE WOMEN doesn't even rate one star.
Don't go see it.
For real fun rent The First Wives Club with Bette Midler and Goldy Hawn.

[Stan]

God, what a stinking fish. Is this a horribly bad ripoff of 'Sex in the City' or was 'Sex in the City' so superiourly mutated from this pile of stupidity? I was so disgusted at the horrible storyline - men only hold back and enslave the poor fairer sex and the only way a woman can make it in the world is to break away completely and do it on their own?
A complete waste of a buck six pennies and an hour and a half (I ran it at 1.5x toward the end because I kept regurgitating my supper). I wish I had read a review on this before renting it (In renting this bomb I actually thought there would be some nudity but in retrospect I am GLAD none of the main actresses dropped their dresses because if they had I might have ripped out my eyes with my fingernails!!!!!)
Just my opinion. Others may differ.

[Stephanie]

Well I LOVED It. Every second of it! =]

[MaryGrace]

I wondered why this passed through the theatres so quickly given the stellar cast. Now my wondering is over. If you don't mind spending a buck and have absolutely nothing better to do - including cleaning the bathroom - this is the film for you. In fact, if you watch it just after scrubbing the toilet bowl, you'll feel a sense of deja vu.

[April]

Funny how people think movies need to change your lives or they aren't worth watching!
I personally think this movie was exactly what it claimed to be, a movie about women and the things that happen in their lives. It wasn't touted to change anyone's life.
Sometimes it's just nice to sit back and watch a movie that makes you laugh at times, possibly think a little or rather reflect, and when it ends you just return to normal life and maybe have a little smile on your face when thinking about something funny that was said in the movie.
In conclusion, relax people, enjoy the movies! Don't get so serious! Really, life's just too short for all the crazy ranting over a movie!
Have a wonderful year!

[Anna]

Given the stellar cast, I was absolutely expecting a far better show. Even much of the acting was 2nd rate. Though it was worth seeing once, I'm sure glad I didn't pay the big bucks to see it in theater. I just expected more.

[SK]

This was absolutely the worst movie EVER! I couldn't begin in describe how bad it was, but seriously it was awful in the first 5 minutes. If I hadn't seen these actresses for the last 20 years in GOOD roles, I would think they were the poorest actresses in Hollywood - not one of them showed well - that's how poorly written this film was. I was in pain watching how bad someone as wonderful as Bette Midler and Annette Bening were...don't waste even a $1.

[Lady Di]

What a disappointment. I LOVED the original movie, Norma Shearer and Rosalind Russell were amazing. It's sad to me how you take a well done, witty film and reduce it to this mess. Meg Ryan was completely miscast as Mary. Norma Shearer played this role with dignity, and class. Meg is ever herself, looking like she just woke up and threw on her clothes and walking around like a mule....not a lady. What a waste of money and time.

[Greg]

The movie wasn't as bad as the bloggers are presenting. Meg Ryan looked awesome once she changed her hair style. I'd prefer Jada being straight, but it was a female movie with an all female cast. Two and a half stars out of four, from a males perspective.

[brenda]

One of the most horrible movies I have ever watched. In general I love chick flicks but this was awful and the two people who watched it with me agreed fully!!! Don't even waste a dollar at red box to watch it.

[Gene]

I'm still trying to figure out why Jada Pinkett-Smith's character was introduced.

I loved it, too! It was a phenomenal example of a good movie!

I actually enjoyed watching this movie with its all star cast. But when I watched it I did not know that this was a remake until I watched all the special features. Then I even understood why some of the actresses were portrayed the way they were. The director was trying to show how women changed over times not needing men. This helped me clear up the Jada Pinket Smith character which I really felt led nothing to the film but at least later knew why she was in it. I also thought the Bette Midler scene was a bit much but enjoyed the movie much more than some of the others I rented this weekend.

[Kathy]

The acting in this is horrible. We need more good movies about women, but they haven't "helped the cause" with this. Pitiful....

[Dave]

I just watched it to see if a man ever appears in the film and one never does.

[brooke]

Absolutely horrible. The screen play could have been written by the third grader (minus all the dirty sludge) and the acting was torture to watch, too. But really, there wasn't much those poor actresses could do with the material they were given to work with. Confession, I turned the movie off half-way through.

[Kristi]

I was reading a magazine the entire time. What does that tell you? 0 stars.

[Bruce]

I watched this movie with my girlfriend and her 16 year old daughter and at the end, we all looked at each other and went huh, "well that's 1 1/2 hours of our lives we'll never get back". We would have been better off to buy a lottery ticket, at least then we had a dream.

[JT2]

This was definitely NOT one of my favorites... watched with my girlfriend, and was disappointed. I'm not much of a fan of Sex in the City, but even that was way better than this. I was looking for a guy through the whole movie and the only one I ever saw (maybe) was the baby at the end... but it could've been a girl passed off as a guy. I was very ready for the movie to end.

[shelley]

i just had surgery tuesday and this was on the top of my list to rent when i was recovering. my husband checked the video store 4 days in a row and it was always out. well, we finally got it at redbox and wow. This was a HUGE disappointment. Such a talented cast and this is what they came up with??? Jada's character should not have even been in there at all, she was pointless. I LOVE chick flicks and hadn't seen a good one in a long time so I was really excited but this movie was a HUGE HUGE letdown.

[Linda]

I also very much enjoyed this movie. It was comfortable...a movie without violence in these days is enough to make me go see it! I love all of these actresses and it was great seeing them all together. They all looked great and all relatable. I can literally see the venomous drool coming out of some of these blogs at the opportunity to criticize such a successful group of ladies. Pity

[imv]

My best friend & I saw this movie at the theater and we both laughed our a**es off during pretty much every scene, as idd the rest of the theater filled with women and 1 or 2 men. The movie itself was slightly silly, overdone and some of the acting is poorly done as well, but it was still a comedy, not a drama. To poster Dave: No, the movie has not one single male actor in it, one of the premises & marketing tools of it being called "The Women."

[Ash]

Men, this movie was not for you. Yeah, I'll give it to you, it wasn't Schindler's List. But I thoroughly enjoyed watching this bonafide chick flick with my mom, aunt, and cousins. We had a good time. Calm down and have a good laugh. Sheesh.

[julie]

I thought it was a good funny movie...love meg ryan in anything she does...

[TN]

Well, first off, I never pay the OUTSTANDING rate to see any movie in the theater no matter if its the best movie in the world.

This movie was not terrible as everyone states, of course it wasnt the best movie I have ever seen either, but well worth the $1 to watch it. It was just an easy going movie, sometimes it is refreshing to see "A" List actors go a little off there normal grid. It did however remind me of the First Wives Club, which I liked better then this movie.

I dont think it is a movie for a person who is trying to take it too seriously and I dont think a man would have a good time watching it. It is a Chick Flick dramady all the way and I would watch it again.