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WHAT Just Happened? Oh. THAT Just Happened.

Every once in a while, it seems like a big-name cast and directing/production team come together to make a movie that pretty much only those "in the biz" will appreciate.  From both what I've read and surmised from the trailer below, What Just Happened is one of those movies.

It's not like I think it looks awful, but I'm not exactly getting the feeling that it's worth shelling out ten bucks for at the theater when it expands into wide release tonight, either.  It's been out in New York and L.A. for two weeks already (experiencing a 32% drop-off in ticket sales after its debut on October 17th), so if the people based in movie production-centric locations aren't that interested, I can't imagine anyone else who would want to rush out and see What Just Happened. 

I'm sticking with my prediction that this weekend will belong to Zack and Miri!

Criss Angel Mindfreak: Best of Seasons 1 and 2

Yesterday I watched something that was just my speed for Halloween week -- creepy, but not outright scary.  It was Criss Angel Mindfreak: Best of Seasons 1 and 2.   

I've never watched this series, now in its fourth season on the A&E channel, but I did see the premiere episode of the short-lived and controversial reality show Phenomenon, on which Criss served as a judge.  At that point in time I thought illusionist Angel took himself a little too seriously -- but then again, I think you kind of have to if you work in that field.

Anyway, the good news is that I did enjoy Mindfreak.  In the nine episodes the DVD contains (four from Season One and five from Season Two), tricks and stunts are interspersed with interviews of Criss, his family members, his agents and the show's production team.  The parts where Criss was talking directly to the camera, as well as nonsensical "intermission break"-like clips, were probably the worst things about this over three-hour-long compilation.  But I was really interested in the thoughts of Angel's mom and brothers, and the reactions of people watching Criss's illusions were pure entertainment. 

While eight of the nine major stunts were easily digestible and left you wondering "how did he do that?", I had to skip over "Body Suspension" because it was just too nasty for me to watch (it involves fish hooks through skin -- I'll leave it at that). 

Although Mr. Mindfreak doesn't like to use the word "magic," that doesn't mean I can't: if you typically enjoy magic shows, illusions or all-around trickery, I would recommend the Criss Angel Mindfreak "best of" DVD.  It was cool to get a glimpse into his life and the preparations that go into each major demonstration he attempts to pull off.  But I side with his poor mother, who looks like she's going to either pass out or explode from worry every time he comes up with something new.  I mean, seriously, did he actually think his mom wanted him to turn himself into a "human candle" for her birthday?!?

The Five Scariest Movies I've Seen (Which Are Also the ONLY Scary Movies I've Seen)

I know more than a few people who, now that they're too old to go trick-or-treating, spend every Halloween watching horror movies.  I honestly can't imagine anything I'd rather do less.  As I've mentioned before, I'm a total wimp when it comes to that sort of thing -- I don't like to be scared... heck, I don't even like to be surprised.  I get queasy not only at the sight of blood, but also just at the thought of it sometimes.  I have a very active imagination and don't need any more fuel for nightmares.

But despite all of that, I still have seen a handful of scary movies.  Why did I ever allow myself to be taken out of my comfort zone enough to sit through these fright-fests?  Usually it was because someone coerced me into it, or because the film was somewhat of a pop culture phenomenon at the time I watched it.

I'm sure many of you out there won't even consider all of these five to be worthy of classification in the horror genre, but they have each viciously haunted me for years. 

And so, without further ado, here are the Five Scariest Movies I've Ever Seen:

5)  Children of the Corn

This one gets fifth place only because I was in high school when I saw it, and therefore I just don't remember much about it, except for the fact that I didn't know what had hit me after its credits rolled. While I've blocked from my memory exactly where I was or who I was with when I watched this one (though I know it was on a VHS tape at a friend's house), merely hearing the name of one of its characters scares the living daylights out of me to this day.  You know who I'm talking about! Yes, it is the evil Malachai. (Isaac was pretty horrifying, too, but his name doesn't carry the same spookiness.)

As soon as the first creepy scene hit in Children of the Corn, I immediately knew that I was never going to be a fan of this type of film.   What's more, I couldn't figure out why anyone would ever willingly subject themselves to such disturbing story lines and scenes.  I still don't understand it!

A Glimpse of Angels & Demons

Remember how I thought the poster for Angels & Demons was mega-cool?  Well, I think the first teaser trailer that was released today is even better. We get to see the freaky statue from the front!

Three cheers for the fact that they did away with Tom Hanks' awful mullet 'do from The Da Vinci Code.  And three more cheers for the inclusion of Ewan McGregor in the cast.  I'm very excited for Angels & Demons after seeing the teaser... let the long wait until May 2009 begin!

Rock ('n Rolla) On

A bright spot in an otherwise awful month for Guy Ritchie: his new film, RocknRolla, is getting great reviews.  It's actually been out in limited release since October 3 and has earned approximately $570,000 in ticket sales so far, but tomorrow it expands to theaters across the country.

I have a feeling, however, that Ritchie's mind will be on other things this weekend, rather than concentrating on how well RocknRolla does in wide release. He's pretty busy turning down Madonna's first divorce settlement.  After all, he stands to gain much more (well, money-wise at least) from the negotiations with his estranged wife than he ever could from one of his films...

I Wish I Was There: The Princes Mingle with Bond

Quantum of Solace, the new James Bond film that was recently lambasted for the "selling out" of its theme song while also garnering Oscar buzz, had its world premiere last night in London.  Princes Harry and William attended -- getting to mingle with the stars whenever they'd like is just one of the many benefits of being members of the Royal Family. 

Not only would I have loved to see them interact with Mr. Bond himself -- Daniel Craig -- but I also would be curious to hear what they thought of the movie, now that it's being met with intensely mixed reviews.  It makes me wonder who started the Academy Award talk last month, especially after reading that Quantum has "a very bizarre plot that you can't quite make sense of."

Hmm, sounds like the theme song isn't the only thing that moviegoers will take issue with when the film opens in the U.S. on November 14...

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Journey to the Center of the Earth stars Brendan Fraser as a geologist -- and, yet, really, it stars Brendan Fraser as Brendan Fraser. Fraser, at some point in his career, became the go-to-guy for family-friendly adventure, and it seems to have stuck, making Fraser's resume a list of films loaded with broad comedy, wisecracks in the face of special-effects danger and the sort of action that the MPAA cautions parents as containing, in a phrase that always brings a smile to my face, "mild peril." Journey to the Center of the Earth is just the most recent installment in Fraser's tastefully lame filmography, and yet, for what it is, it's quite good -- a rousing family adventure with good effects, watchable performers and plenty of excitement without any real violence.

Fraser's Professor Trevor Anderson is working on the margins of his field, but one of his old research pods starts picking up some intriguing data in Iceland, just as his nephew Sean (Josh Hutcherson), the son of his deceased fellow-scientist brother Max, has come for a visit. Journey to the Center of the Earth is the kind of film where the act of bringing your teen nephew on a scientific expedition is perfectly reasonable, so Trevor and Sean head off to Iceland to pick up the probe, hiring mountain guide Hannah Asgeirsson (Anita Briem) to get them there. A storm traps them in a cave; the cave's floor gives way; soon our threesome are in a bizarre underworld filled with prehistoric creatures and computer-generated adventures, realizing that Max's love for Jules Verne's novel Journey to the Center of the Earth was not simply a matter of him enjoying Victorian literature.

Tinker Bell

From what I can remember of Peter Pan, the boy who wouldn't grow up's temperamental sidekick, Tinker Bell, was somewhat of a brat (not that Pan was exactly a model of good behavior, either). Tinker Bell, Disney's new direct-to-DVD release, doesn't do much to change that impression!

As in The Little Mermaid III: Ariel's Beginning, Tinker Bell establishes the "backstory" of its heroine.  Up until now, the blond fairy has never even spoken a word, so there is obviously a lot of ground to cover in order to understand how she came to tag along with Peter Pan and the Darling children.

Tinker Bell fills in these gaps, beginning with Tink's birth and subsequent arrival in Pixie Hollow, where her lifelong profession is chosen via a Hogwart's Sorting Hat-esque ritual.  Only it turns out that this time, perhaps something with the fairy's initiation process has gone awry, as Tink is determined to be anything other than her supposed calling: a tinker. 

The rest of the story concentrates on the chaos that erupts when Tinker Bell refuses to accept her fate.  While the rest of the fairy world is preparing for the arrival of spring -- in which they play a critical role -- Tink is running around destroying things and being selfish.  All while wearing her trademarked extremely short strapless green dress (though, as ridiculous as that get-up is, seeing how it came to be was kind of cool). Though the trailer below barely touches upon the plot, it provides a good feel for the film's animation. 

I'm old-fashioned enough to believe that this movie would've been a lot more enjoyable (for me) had its animators tried to mirror the classic look of Peter Pan, rather than using modern three-dimensional computer imaging.  But then again, I'm not even remotely close to being a part of the target audience for this film. 

Where's Chuck Bass When You Need Him?

The Haunting of Molly Hartley -- the only horror film that's being released on Halloween this year -- looks more like a cross between the TV shows "Gossip Girl," "90210" and "Reaper" than anything else.  Granted, its trailer was still too scary for my liking, but I couldn't get very freaked out when Chace Crawford continued to channel GG's Nate Archibald and AnnaLyne McCord didn't seem to break out of her role as the infamous zip code's Queen Bee, Naomi Clark.  And then I found out that the lead character, Molly, is played by Haley Bennett... who appeared as the Britney/Shakira rip-off Cora Corman in Music and Lyrics (though she looks completely different in this film).  Can you see why I found it hard to take this one too seriously?

Even though a few characters from both the Upper East Side and Beverly Hills grace the screen in The Haunting of Molly Hartley, it does technically qualify as a "scary movie," and therefore I won't be seeing it.  But I must wonder if anything in the film could be more frightening than one of Chuck Bass's infamous outfits...

Holding Out for a Hero Who Will Put the Kibosh on This Idea...

Children of the 80s, brace yourselves! 

A remake of Footloose -- starring High School Musical 3's Zac Efron -- has been fast-tracked by Paramount.  I warned you to brace yourself!

As I've ranted before, I'm not a fan of remakes.  Especially when the movie in question is somewhat of a "classic" and everyone liked the original version!  Why, oh, why would anyone want to mess with Footloose?  I believe the answer comes in two parts:  1) Because they can, and 2) Because it will most likely pull in a ton of money.

Let's face it, anyone growing up today probably isn't familiar with the Kevin Bacon-led dancing extravaganza. If you replace Kevin with the new It Boy who has already proven that he can sing and dance, and then hire the producers who brought Chicago and Hairspray to the screen, what could go wrong?

Uh, how about the fact that they plan to target older teens and adults -- not Efron's typical younger female fanbase -- as the audience for this remake?  I'm sorry, but there is no way that I am going to be singing along with "Let's Hear it for the Boy" when the boy in question is Zac Efron.