Sometimes I only need to hear about the plot of a movie to be like, “Um, NO.” And that was precisely my reaction to It, last year’s blockbuster horror film that ended up being THE #1 horror movie of all time. An evil clown that lives in the sewer and terrorizes kids, based on a novel by Stephen King?!? Nope, nope and NOPE.
I don’t do evil clowns. Basically I don’t like anything having to do with any sort of clown, but a dancing, shape-shifting clown named Pennywise is pretty much my worst nightmare. For those of you who for some reason ENJOY having the bejeezus scared out of you, I have it on good authority (my husband, my best friend, and, um, millions of other moviegoers) that It was exceptionally well done and reminded many people of classic ‘80s movies like Stand By Me and The Goonies because of its cast of standout young actors and actresses, including Sophia Lillis and Stranger Things’ Finn Wolfhard. But I still ain’t seein’ it.
Which brings me to my list of 5 movies that are just WRONG:
It – Um, see above.
Saw – I think we all know why this one is on my list. Seriously, why would somebody think this kind of plot up?!?
The Exorcist – Does it make it any better that this 1973 horror film about a possessed little girl was inspired by a true story? NO, IT MAKES IT WORSE!!!
Se7en – I actually mustered up the courage to see this one when it came out in 1995 . . . and am still haunted by it. Detectives Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman race to find a serial killer who chooses victims based on the “seven deadly sins.” Its brutal ending is the one and only time I’ll ever feel sorry for Gwyneth Paltrow.
A Clockwork Orange – This 1971 dystopian crime film by director Stanley Kubrick is so whacked-out it was banned in the U.K. — where it takes place — until 2001, when I just so happened to be in London and made the idiotic decision to see it on a rainy night, by myself. Needless to say after watching a gang of “droogs” commit “ultra-violence” on innocent victims for over two hours, I didn’t sleep at all that night and refuse to see this movie ever again.
What movies do you wish you’d never seen because they’re so WRONG?