Looking to join a butt-kicking team of sweaty, tattooed special-ops commandos–or to just relax watching 100 minutes of big orange fireballs and wisecracks? There are plenty of them out there these days, including the R-Rated The Expendables and the PG-13 The Losers.
So if you’re not sure which swaggering, team of highly destructive social rejects is best for you, take this special redbox quiz and find your inner demolitions expert!
1) A typical day at work involves…
A. Stealing and decoding an encrypted courier drive
B. Tearing a Somalian pirate in half.
A. Robert Downey Jr’s older brother after a Tijuana weekend.
B. A Public Service Announcement about the dangers of Tijuana Botox.
3) You have dangerously high levels of…
A. Zoe Saldana’s pants
B. Mickey Rourke’s face.
5) To inspire his employees, your bad guy…
A. Has a couple of them randomly shot or thrown off roofs
B. Paints their faces like backup singers on a Ziggy Stardust tour.
A. A Bolivian cock fight
B. Bruce Willis and Arnold Swartzenegger
7) The ultimate deadly weapon is…
A. A sonic dematerializer, or “snuke”
B. Mickey Rourke talking about his damaged soul.
A. Dated Julia Roberts.
B. Is Julia Roberts’ older brother.
9) Your villain also likes to have soothing lotions and oils rubbed…
A. On his hand
B. In his hair
A. Óscar Jaenada and Zoe Saldana.
B. Mickey Rourke and strippers.
11) Your team’s motto is…
A. “Don’t start nuttin’, won’t be nuttin’.”
B. “Somebody check Mickey’s pulse.”
A. Play “Don’t Stop Believing” and have Chris Evans drop his pants and crack a joke.
B. Shoot Dolph Lundgren.
Now all you have to do is tally up the number of A and B answers–if you had more “A”s, you’re a Loser! More “B”s? You’re Expendable! A tie? You’re deeply conflicted and should probably go watch Predators again.
- Reserve and rent The Losers on DVD and Blu-ray from redbox.
- Buy The Losers on DVD and Blu-ray from redbox.