Are you a Loser or Just Expendable? Take the Redbox Quiz!

by | Nov 28th, 2010 | 10:41PM | Filed under: DVD Reviews, Movie Lists, Movies, Other Bits

Looking to join a butt-kicking team of sweaty, tattooed special-ops commandos–or to just relax watching 100 minutes of big orange fireballs and wisecracks? There are plenty of them out there these days, including the R-Rated The Expendables and the PG-13 The Losers.

So if you’re not sure which swaggering, team of highly destructive social rejects is best for you, take this special redbox quiz and find your inner demolitions expert!

1) A typical day at work involves…

A. Stealing and decoding an encrypted courier drive

B. Tearing a Somalian pirate in half.

2) Your fearless leader looks like…

A. Robert Downey Jr’s older brother after a Tijuana weekend.

B. A Public Service Announcement about the dangers of Tijuana Botox.

3) You have dangerously high levels of…

A. Sarcasm.

B. Testosterone.

4) If you see something stretched unbelievably tight, it’s probably…

A. Zoe Saldana’s pants

B. Mickey Rourke’s face.

5) To inspire his employees, your bad guy…

A. Has a couple of them randomly shot or thrown off roofs

B. Paints their faces like backup singers on a Ziggy Stardust tour.

6) You hear there’s going to be a face-off between old, strutting roosters. You look around for…

A. A Bolivian cock fight

B. Bruce Willis and Arnold Swartzenegger

7) The ultimate deadly weapon is…

A. A sonic dematerializer, or “snuke”

B. Mickey Rourke talking about his damaged soul.

8) Your arch enemy…

A. Dated Julia Roberts.

B. Is Julia Roberts’ older brother.

9) Your villain also likes to have soothing lotions and oils rubbed…

A. On his hand

B. In his hair

10) In your opinion, cowboy hats look best on…

A. Óscar Jaenada and Zoe Saldana.

B. Mickey Rourke and strippers.

11) Your team’s motto is…

A. “Don’t start nuttin’, won’t be nuttin’.”

B. “Somebody check Mickey’s pulse.”

12) The best solution to any problem is to…

A. Play “Don’t Stop Believing” and have Chris Evans drop his pants and crack a joke.

B. Shoot Dolph Lundgren.

Now all you have to do is tally up the number of A and B answers–if you had more “A”s, you’re a Loser! More “B”s? You’re Expendable! A tie? You’re deeply conflicted and should probably go watch Predators again.

____

  • Reserve and rent The Losers on DVD and Blu-ray from redbox.
  • Buy The Losers on DVD and Blu-ray from redbox.

  • Reserve and rent The Expendables on DVD and Blu-ray from redbox.
  • Buy The Expendables on DVD and Blu-ray from redbox.

19 Responses to “Are you a Loser or Just Expendable? Take the Redbox Quiz!”

  1. Trevor L
    Posted on November 29, 2010 at 10:08 am

    I’m a Loser

  2. Locke Peterseim
    Locke Peterseim
    Posted on November 29, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Aren’t we all, Trevor? Lol.

    But seriously, folks, I’ve now watched The Losers four times for theatrical and dvd reviews and this quiz, and I can safely say it’s one of my favorite action films of the year — it’ll probably nab a spot somewhere in my ’10 top 20 list, certainly under “fun and overlooked.” Every line from Patric and Evans cracks me up each time…

  3. matphoto
    Posted on November 29, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    I may have to check it out again and try to ignore that icky post-processing work. The quiz is funny, but I still think it needs a third option: C. Scaling a building with a large intestine.

  4. Locke Peterseim
    Locke Peterseim
    Posted on November 29, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Oh don’t worry matphoto, when Machete hits video, I’ll be sure to have a Trejo Tribute! (All intestines included!)

    • Currently 5/5 Stars
    Lola
    Posted on November 29, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    I’m expendable but I always knew that!!

  5. sharon
    Posted on November 30, 2010 at 4:17 am

    Predator, here i come

  6. Amy
    Posted on December 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Expendable, I like breaking necks!!

  7. Lisa
    Posted on December 3, 2010 at 8:32 am

    Im a loser…

  8. bob brady
    Posted on December 6, 2010 at 8:01 am

    Expendable was dispensible. It was awful. I watched it on my 240MHZ, 47″, LED with the power saver off and still could not make out the special effects sequencies. Do these guys really need the $$? What a misleading cast list. Bruce Willis appeared for about 5 minutes and didn’t participate in any of the action.

    A total rip-off and I’m so happy that I rented it a Redbox rather than from my online cable provider.

    Is there anyway that Redbox can show legitimate reviews of movies like this? Ya’ could have saved me 2 hrs. of my “precious time”. Stallone needs to go back into retirement or where ever these has beens go!

    • Currently 3/5 Stars
    Buckeyefan
    Posted on December 7, 2010 at 6:56 am

    Rent Expendables in Blu ray if you have the player. Don’t waste your time with standard SD. The picture quality was awful, especially because many of the scenes are in low lighting. The flick isn’t that great where I’ll watch it again in Blu ray, but wished I would have waited for it to be available for the extra .50.

    • Currently 5/5 Stars
    jesse
    Posted on December 7, 2010 at 8:31 am

    Excellent movie

    • Currently 5/5 Stars
    www.metrocab.co
    Posted on December 7, 2010 at 8:33 am

    Very nice quiz.

    • Currently 4/5 Stars
    Film Stud
    Posted on December 7, 2010 at 10:14 am

    I love the quiz.
    The Losers. = Very entertaining.
    Almost as entertaining as…oh, I don’t know…
    THE A-TEAM perhap?
    Either way, Losers was a better film than
    The Inflatables.

  9. Bill
    Posted on December 7, 2010 at 11:06 am

    The extras for The Expendables was longer and more interesting than the movie. I’m afraid the steroids don’t make his bones stronger. He broke several.

  10. Scott
    Posted on December 7, 2010 at 11:45 am

    I’m a little of both, but might be a little RED too!

  11. TheDirt
    Posted on December 7, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    I thought I was Expendable but turns out i’m a Loser, Ended 5 to 6 couldn’t count number 9 neither one is very killer like!

    • Currently 1/5 Stars
    Ray Watson
    Posted on December 17, 2010 at 8:35 am

    Expendables = could not suck enough.

    • Currently 3/5 Stars
    Ray Watson
    Posted on December 17, 2010 at 8:40 am

    The Losers is okay i guess