Yesterday we discussed the first full-length trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and so far everyone’s agreeing with me that it is indeed epic. Today I need to even things out a bit. Allow me to present the first look at Little Fockers, the third chapter in the shoulda-stopped-at-one Meet the Parents franchise. “Appalled” does not begin to describe my reaction.
This is the kind of preview that makes me want to wail, “Why, God, whhhhyyyyyy!?!?!” at the top of my lungs. Which I actually considered doing when I first watched it, except that I knew my howling would disturb my dog. But seriously, if this nonsense is what they chose to spotlight in the trailer, how can this film possibly be anything but awful? Blood spurting all over the family at Thanksgiving dinner? An erectile dysfunction pill subplot? A five-year-old witnessing a syringe to his grandpa’s penis? I weep for our nation. And I have a whole new respect now for Dustin Hoffman and his decision to stay far, far away from this mess. Good God.
Those of you who are for some reason still interested in seeing Little Fockers can do so exactly six years after the original debuted: December 22, 2010. I don’t think I’ll need to ask you how it was. The Circle of Trust has been broken!