File Under “Why… WHY?!?”

by | Apr 29th, 2010 | 9:29AM | Filed under: News

I’ve got two bits of movie news for you today that are not related in any way except that they both make me want to tear my hair out and cry to the heavens.

The first is that there’s going to be a Magic 8-Ball movie. I know I shouldn’t be surprised by this since Locke and I have written about literally every other popular children’s toy and game being optioned for the big screen, but something about this one really bothers me.  It’s such a blatantly desperate act of unoriginality. You know the movie’s going to be about a Magic 8-Ball toy that someone discovers is really magic. Then a bunch of hip, young friends will attempt to use it to solve a mystery, and they’ll be constantly stopping in their tracks to shake the 8-Ball and ask it for guidance.  There is a high probability that a Black Eyed Peas song will be playing in the background at various stages of their adventure.  Then the 8-Ball will inevitably “fall into the wrong hands” and the good guys will have to get it back. They will, and then they’ll solve their mystery… but then they’ll decide to destroy the 8-Ball because they’ve realized it could be used for eeevil. But in the closing moments of the film, we will see that the 8-Ball has in fact not been destroyed… setting things up for the inevitable sequel, which will probably still be made even if the original (I use that term loosely) isn’t successful. Ridiculous.

But while we’re on the subject of the 8-Ball, I found a pretty cool virtual one here… and then also came across the hilarious Magic Cheezburger from the awesome folks behind the lolcats /I can has cheezburger site. The Cheezburger gives out answers like “WTF?” and “Srsly?”  LOVE IT.  Somebody make a movie about that and I’ll watch it.

The second bit of depressing news is regarding the Life of Pi adaptation. I first wrote about the adaptation in February 2009, so you can refresh your memory here. All I wanted to say about it today is that: 1) it is finally moving forward, and Ang Lee is thankfully still attached, but 2) IT IS GOING TO BE MADE IN 3D.   Nooooooooo!!!!!  Good God am I sick of 3D.  Sick of it!  Stop the madness, Hollywood, I beg of you.


6 Responses to “File Under “Why… WHY?!?””

  1. Ashley
    Posted on April 29, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Noooooo …

  2. Scott
    Posted on April 29, 2010 at 10:36 am

    Very impressive, I think you just nailed that script. You should construct yourself your very own homemade contruction paper medallion, outlined in aluminum foil even. Also, feel free to play a Black Eyed Peas song in the background during constuction.

  3. Trevor L.
    Posted on April 29, 2010 at 11:09 am

    Nothing will kill my excitement for the Life of Pi adaptation. Not even 3D, which I can see anyways because I’m practically blind in one eye.

  4. Fiirvoen
    Posted on April 29, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    3-D is happening whether you like it or not. Might as well try to get on board. Don’t look at it as it currently is: a cheap marketing ploy. Look at it as the beginning of a transition into an age where 3-D will become the norm. 3-D for the past 20 years has been like laser disc technology. Current 3-D is making the transition to becoming like the jump to DVDs. At first, the idea of a laser disc was stupid. Now DVD’s are everywhere. 3-D will soon become the ubiquitous norm. Don’t fight 3-D, you can be irked by it’s transparent usage, but don’t think it will stop expanding and fade away like some fad. They’re starting to sell 3-D TV’s. The world is changing.

  5. Erika Olson

    Posted on April 29, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    I just hate the glasses! And the higher prices. And the migraine headaches afterward.

    - Erika

  6. Fiirvoen
    Posted on April 30, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Yeah, the glasses do suck. I don’t have the migraines though… don’t know what to tell you about that.

    When DVD’s first came out, they were ridiculously expensive, not to mention the players.