You’ve got your vampires, you’ve got your werewolves, and you’ve got your seventeen-year-old (human) girl caught in the middle of a supernatural love triangle. You’ve also got a worldwide box-office gross of $707 million, which means fans of the Twilight series don’t need to be convinced to rent The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Those who couldn’t bring themselves to see it in the theater will find some good acting, some bad acting, an inexplicable lack of romance, at least one cool action sequence and, if nothing else, better direction than its predecessor.
The following is a reprint of my theatrical New Moon review, tweaked in parts now that I have watched the film again on DVD. The Twilight Saga: New Moon is now available at a redbox kiosk near you.
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If you were reading redblog a year ago, then you know that while I had several issues with the first film, I did find some of its cheesiness a bit charming. (What you might not know is that I watched it in the theater again — twice — after I wrote that review and actually liked it more each time.) Therefore, I figured that with a new director (Chris Weitz) and a bigger budget that would surely remedy the embarrassingly bad “special effects situation,” there was no way the sequel wouldn’t be a superior film. Alas, I was very disappointed by New Moon when I saw it opening week. However, now that some time has passed and I rewatched it on DVD — accompanied by my husband who never read the second book (after I forced him to read the first) in Stephenie Meyer’s series — I stand corrected. Though I still favor Twilight because I tend to always like the first, “set up” film in a franchise best, New Moon is hands down a better-made movie thanks to Weitz.
For the most part, the adaptation follows the story arc of the novel. Vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and mortal high schooler Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) are happy together for like two seconds, but then a few members of Edward’s family start lusting after Bella’s blood when she gets a paper cut (at her own birthday party, no less), and so Edward’s all, “Sorry, babe, but this isn’t gonna work.” Bella sinks into a deep depression when the entire Cullen clan skips town, and the only person who is eventually able to cheer her up is her old buddy Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who’s put on approximately one gazillion pounds of muscle — and continued to use Crest White Stripes without abandon on his already-blinding choppers — since we last saw him. It is then revealed that he simply cannot bear to have his shirt on. It physically pains him to do so — he gets a really wicked contact rash and no one on in La Push (where he and his fellow Quileute tribe members hang) can figure out how to help him. 
OK, so I made that part up. Jacob’s shirtlessness is never actually explicitly explained in the film, but one can infer that it has something to do with him being a werewolf. But forget about the werewolf part for a second because I just need to say that it is seriously Ridiculous (notice the capital r?) how much Jacob’s running around half-nekkid in this movie. Or running around half-nekkid in the pouring rain. Or in slo-mo. I just kept thinking, “This is like Baywatch… with guys” during all of his scenes (and some of Edward’s — he also goes shirtless a few times and has a classic/hilarious bad-boy-walking-in-slo-mo scene to boot). I suppose I should be happy that some dudes are getting objectified-to-the-max up on the big screen for a change, but instead I just felt embarrassed for them.
Back to the plot… Just as Bella’s life finally regains some normalcy and her friendship with Jacob starts turning into something more (no one can resist all that shirtlessness), the Cullens pop up again. Specifically, Edward’s sister Alice (Ashley Greene) decides to drop by, and around that same time the girls learn that Edward thinks Bella is dead (long story). Because she can see glimpses of the future, Alice knows that Edward plans to take a page from Romeo and Juliet and — since vampires can’t off themselves — will attempt to join Bella in death by putting on a fab-u light show over in Italy. Meaning, he’s going to stand in the sun and reveal his sparkling vampire skin to humans, thus ensuring he’ll be killed by the royal vampire clan, the Volturi, ’cause showing your bling-bling face in public is against their rules. Why would Edward be so distraught over Bella’s death? Wasn’t he the one who left her? Yes, of course, but he was just trying to protect her — he really does love her — but vampires shouldn’t be with humans — daaahhhh!!!!! Don’t you see how complicated their relationship is?!?! Why else do you think they’re always fumbling over their words and gasping and sighing and breathing heavy?!? Because it’s hard to be a human and vampire in love, people!
Since I know many of you reading this are going to be forced to watch the DVD by your girlfriends/wives/friends and may have not read the book, I will not reveal anything else about what goes down after Alice and Bella head to Europe. Will they be sidetracked by all of the gelato vendors and forget about trying to stop Edward from dazzling himself to death? Will Jacob ever put on a shirt again? You’re just going to have to see it to find out.
For those of you who, like me, were genuinely looking forward to New Moon, let me tell you about the high points in the film. Positive #1: The Volturi scenes. I had doubted Dakota Fanning’s ability to pull off Jane, but I was completely wrong. She was perfect. As were Michael Sheen as Aro and Jamie Campbell Bower as Caius. They were exactly what I had pictured in my mind when I read the books — both in looks and mannerisms. Positive #2: A cool chase scene with Original Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) and the wolves set to a Thom Yorke track that I love. Positive #3: The three standouts from the first film were on their game again this time around — namely, Anna Kendrick and Michael Welch as two of Bella’s high school friends, and Billy Burke as Charlie, Bella’s dad. Unfortunately, they only got a few minutes of face time each. Positive #4: Face Punch. Enough said.
Now let’s talk about the Not-So-Great stuff.
Remember all that horrid pancake makeup used to make the Cullens pale as ghosts in Twilight? It’s gone now… but in its place are very disturbing golden contacts for all of the vampires. Way more noticeable and unnerving than in the first film. These are supposed to be the most beautiful people in the world, but instead they looked like freaks (yes, even Edward) because of whatever was done to their eyes. 
The Volturi’s glowing-red eyes were fine — but the huge golden irises on the Cullens simply looked painful. (I’m very curious to hear whether anyone else noticed this, so if you did, please let me know in the comments.)
My dreams of awesome special effects were dashed early on as well… the first time we got a good look at one of the wolves, I just shook my head and thought, “Good God, that is Gmork from The NeverEnding Story.” (Even though you all know TNES is one of my favorite movies, Gmork should not be making an appearance in a modern-day film.) The wolf effects did get better as the film progressed, but I just couldn’t shake my initial reaction — and my husband noticed it, too. As for the other special effects (vampire battles, fast-running, etc.), they were OK. But a lot of work needs to be done in order for Eclipse and (presumably) Breaking Dawn to not be completely ridiculed, as both of those stories are much more action-based.
Bella was still as annoying as ever. The dialogue throughout was peppered with laughable, inane cheese-poofs. “Bella, you give me everything… just by breathing!” Brother, please. (WHY OH WHY is screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg on board again for Eclipse? Even the best actors in the world can’t make craptastic lines sound anything other than craptastic.) I don’t care if some of this gooeyness came directly from the books. It doesn’t work on film.
As for Chris Weitz, I feel he went the safe route and made a movie that he knew would please the hardcore fans. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just that I could’ve done with less Shirtless Jacob and Mopey Bella. So while I did enjoy New Moon significantly more on my second viewing, I still hope that Eclipse will take this franchise to the next level this summer. Fortunately from the looks of the trailer, it appears that they at least found Jacob a couple of shirts.
Posted on March 31, 2010 at 11:36 am
Also i agree the thing NO they really should have left this alone. They did make the culans look as if they were sick animals, they looked better in the first film pale and more normal eyes. And the shirt off thing to me seemed to fit jacob as he was of indian descent it just played into his character i thought. They other indian wolf boys didnt wear shirts much either any one care????? I think it was fitting to the story line. However if they want the next movie to be a hit they better step it up!!!
Posted on March 31, 2010 at 11:57 am
I agree that Twilight was slightly better then New moon, even though it is closer to the scenes of the book. But I was dissapointed that it didnt enphasize on Jacobs and Bellas relationship as it does in the book. I’m not a team Jacob fan I like them both, but I just feel like this was Jacob’s time to shine just like Edward go to shine in Twilight. I am definitely more of a fan of the books rather the movies, but I really hope the movie Eclipse does a better justice to the book.
As for the cheesiness, I definitely agree that on film the lines just come out a little extra cheesy than in the book, making the scenes not as believable as I would like them to be. But all in all, I really like the movies and i can’t wait for the final two!!
Posted on March 31, 2010 at 1:55 pm
I’m a big fan of the “vampire” type: TV and movies. When I first saw Twilight, I thought it was a fun new take on the vamps. The movie was enjoyable and gave us yet another world of vamps. It reminded me a bit of Moonlight & Vampire Diaries crossed a bit except without rings to walk in daylight. Seemingly, all of the traditional vamps strengths and none of their weaknesses, (ala Blade). My favorite scene: the baseball game in the rain…
Then came New Moon.
I had hoped it would be at least as good as the first and looked forward to the addition of the wolves, love triangle, etc. Unfortunately, I was very disappointed in this film. I barely finished it, (on DVD at home). I actually wanted Bella to die. I lost all of the feeling I had for her in the first film. The actress professed she thought the Bella character grew in this film. Her portrayal gave the impression of anything but growth. How a 128 year old vampire could fall in love with this simpering female is beyond me. She should get with the wolf and give it up. Edward and his family lost all of the power they held in the first film. Yes, I understand the hierarchy of the revealed vampire ruling class. I did like that portion and the actors recruited to play them. I have not read the books, nor do I intend to. So, to the filmmakers: I implore you, do better on #3…!
Posted on March 31, 2010 at 4:20 pm
I am big fan of vampire stories. I love to read and vampire stories are some of the first I pick up to read so I have been exposed to a lot of plots therefore when Twilight came out I was very interested, here was a vampire tale (with a twist) on film, ohhh goodie. The first film really out shined New Moon. Aren’t sequeals suppose to be better then the first (build up the story line and characters. I have read a few of the reviews and it seems that there is a general concensus that New Moon was not as good as it should have been and I also agree with another reviewer that it was indeed Jacob’s time to shine and although he had a good portion of the movie, Edward tried to steal his thunder (no thanks to fickle Bella) and that upset me.The dialogue was somewhat poor or may be I am missing something is this the way teenagers talk to each other. Also it is unbelievable that a vampire of 100 plus years with lots of experience (seen a lot, done a lot) would still be interested in an obvious teenager who acts and thinks like a teenage girl. Secondly I think she dissed poor Jacob and in front of Edward too. That young man deserves better (has a better body than Edward). My husband is not a vampire fan like me and when he saw it he made similar observations that I and other reviewers made. Poor dialogue, story line lacking. My teenage son also said the same thing. Bottom line, the third better be much better (Eclipse) otherwise they could lose their fans of all ages.
Posted on March 31, 2010 at 8:14 pm
I agree with much of Erika Olsons critique with New Moons overall character & visual performance! First & foremost I was expecting some of the best money could buy visual effects to take place during the Werewolf scenes! But instead as Jacob & the others transformed into Werewolves, I couldn’t believe what I saw! The Werewolves looked animatronic & cheesy as hell just like Ericka described from the movie; The NeverEnding Story! I was very disappointed especially with a production budget in the 100′s of millions, I know this had to disappoint plenty of fans!
Yes; lines used from the book sounded cheesy as well on the big screen no matter how good of an actor you are! Shocked to see Dakota Fanning, I’m not a fan of hers at all, especially after reading about her “real” personality when the cameras are off (not much to be desired) so I was glad she only had a small role! Overall I like the Twilight Saga in its entirety but they do have to step it up a notch if they want to achieve a mentions like; “OMG did you see that movie it was awesome”!!!!!
Posted on March 31, 2010 at 8:21 pm
I loved Twilight, the first movie. I did think the lighting was a little weird, everything looked so bright and the characters looked so pale with bright red lips. I have watched it so many times and it gets better every time. I really did not like the second book, therefore the second movie didnt appeal to me either. The story line moved too far away from Bella and Edward. I thought the movie was definately made better and the characters were good. I liked the new contact they all wore, and the fact that they all didnt look like they just finished drinking red kool-aid. I am SOOOOO excited for Eclipse and I hope to gosh they do find a producer to make Breaking Dawn. I couldnt imagine them not finishing the saga.
Posted on March 31, 2010 at 11:18 pm
I have to agree that they still don’t have it right with the vampires, they are supposed to be captivatingly beautiful, and most of them just look creepy. As for Jacob being shirtless, I think that is explained very well by the two sceens where we see him phase into a wolf. What we should be wondering, is where does he keep getting pants and shoes. He was often shoeless in the book.
Posted on April 3, 2010 at 12:54 pm
I yawned through the end of the moving. I think it was too much love and back and forth between lovers. I wanted more action. What ever happened to Victoria? Your left clueless at the end of the movie. I give it thumbs down definitely!! Not to excited about part III.
Posted on April 5, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Ok ok…so i get what a lot of you are saying, but I have read all ofthe books, and I’m amazed how well that they kept the movies with the books. The thing is, the books are exceptionally loooong, which is fine and all, but it does make it hard to wait for all the action when it comes to the movies, but I guess that’s just how it goes. I like both movies, and maybe I do like the first a little better, and I’m excited to see how it plays out in Eclipse.
I could just save all of you that haven’t read the books a lot of time and just tell you what happens,…haha, but I won’t do that. They’re just movies, and Bella is actually supposed to be portrayed as rather dull for a teenager, so what do you expect? Blah blah blah….the end.