Oscars® (Semi) Live Blog: First Half of the Ceremony (Special Revised Edition)

by | Mar 7th, 2010 | 7:37PM | Filed under: Award Shows, For Your Consideration

Part Three of Oscar blogging continues here!

8:50 — Pausing the DVR for a bathroom/beer/snacks break as everyone tallies up their pool picks so far. Live blogging will resume in a bit… unless there's no one out there… if there are any Whos out there in Whoville, give a yelp and I'll keep going.

8:45 — So far Martin and Baldwin are hilarious, but evening's best re-occurring effect is any time Jeff Bridges appears on screen or stage. His beard is cool standard to which all other human's facial hair can only aspire.

8:40 — Stiller as Na'vi will haunt my nightmares for weeks. Scarier than anything in Paranormal Activity. ("It was this or the Nazi uniform, but the show seemed a little Hitler heavy…") Wait, I take that back. Cameron's wife, actress Suzi Amis is much scarier. She looks like Cameron makes her sleep outside in a hole and live on roots and berries.

Star Trek wins Best Make Up for ears, tattoos and green chicks. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it, "Wednesday."

8:34 — For those of you who think the Short Animated Films category is too familiar and easy, here's Short Documentary! Music by Prudence wins.

Okay, UPDATE TIME! So what was the deal with the bossy lady pushing the nice, polite director out of the way to speak? Turns out quite a big, acrimonious deal… She was the producer and there were "creative differences" during the making of Music by Prudence, ending in a legal battle. She hates him! She really hates him! Good stuff, eh? Salon.com has the He Said-She Said scoop straight from both their mouths: The story behind Oscar's "Kanye moment"

8:30 — The first major upset of the evening! Logorama takes Best Short Animated Film right out from under a Matter of Loaf and Death, the usual Wallace and Gromit favorite.

8:25 — When is someone going to hold a telethon for illiteracy in Hollywood? So far, teleprompters: 4, presenters: 0.

8:20 — The on-stage reunion of some of Hughes's once-young actors is very nice. So I'll refrain from making a snarky remark about Judd Nelson stuffing his pockets at the lobby buffet.

8:15– Zena the Warrior Princess, er I mean Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick present a tribute to John Hughes. Lots of great scenes from everyone's favorite Hughes films. Sadly short on Curly Sue and Baby's Day Out clips.

8:10 – Downey, Jr.'s periwinkle bow-tie steals a million hearts with a wink. Fey's leopard-spot dress goes and cries in its trailer. "It's a collaboration between handsome gifted people and sickly little mole people." Meanwhile, The Hurt Locker wins Best Original Screenplay. Mark Boal gives a nice speech, but Jason Reitman is not amused that they accidentally wore the same hair and beards to the ceremony.

8:05 — As expected, "The Weary Kind" wins for Crazy Heart, letting everyone see just how freakishly tall T-Bone Burnett is and how charmingly southern Ryan Bingham is.

8:00 – The animated characters bit is cute, though billions of people still don't know what the hell The Secret of the Kells is. Oh, and of course Up wins Best Animated Feature.

7:59 — Nobody murders a teleprompter like Cameron Diaz.

7:53– Christoph Waltz wins Best Supporting Actor of course, but his acceptance speech is some sort of dicey extended metaphor about being on a ship with Quentin Tarantino and Harvey Weinstein. The orchestra conductor is too confused–or excited–to play him off the stage.

7:40 — Wow, because they're long-time movie stars, Martin and Baldwin are getting away with a lot of great, edgy jokes that would have been frowned on had Jon Stewart made them. Luckily we still have J-Lo to sneeringly disapprove. Or just not get them. There are some dud lines, but "tensions between blacks and whites" and "what's up with all the Hitler memorabilia?" win my cynical heart early.

7:33 — During NPH's saucy, Jackman-esque opening number the camera cuts to Cameron in the audience, but there's no light on him, so he looks like an anonymous witness on 60 Minutes. Someone's already fired. Nobody leaves Jimmy in the dark.

7:30 – Sorry, but having the Best Actor/Actress nominees stand up in front at the start feels like a school assembly awards. And Jeremy Renner appears to Keebler Elf Sized. He's like a (even Mini-er) Mini Ben Kingsley.

8 Responses to “Oscars® (Semi) Live Blog: First Half of the Ceremony (Special Revised Edition)”

  1. Billy Adams
    Posted on March 7, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    I’m wondering if George Clooney was in on the jokes.

  2. Locke Peterseim
    Posted on March 7, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Oh certainly — nobody gives a deadpan slow burn like Clooney.

  3. Will
    Posted on March 7, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    Keep it up, Locke. Marooned in the boonies with my lady and we need the info!

  4. Locke Peterseim
    Posted on March 7, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Will do, just for Will! Continued sobriety not guaranteed…

  5. Jim S.
    Posted on March 7, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    I’m still checking in too, Locke! Your comments are considerably more entertaining than any of the lame teleprompter banter we have to endure between awards.

  6. Michelle
    Posted on March 8, 2010 at 10:55 am

    Am I the only one that felt as though John Hughes tribute turned into a glory fest for the actors he worked with?? And yes, Curly Sue, Baby’s Day Out were cut out, but so were Career Opportunities (which launched Jennifer Connoly’s carrer),and I don’t recall Uncle Buck in there either. But maybe I blinked and missed it. Or Dutch for that matter, but I can’t really blame them for that one.

  7. Mindy
    Posted on March 8, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    My whole living room paused and someone said, “Who invited Kanye’s mom? Didn’t she die?” Poor Music by Prudence Guy. That lady was off her rocker. Beyonce should have come out later to let him give his acceptance speech.

  8. moviegoer123
    Posted on March 8, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    I loved the part when Ben Stiller acted like an Avatar (a Na’vi person) and it made me laugh. Although, I was happy that Avatar got three awards but I did cry when Hurt Locker won Best Director and Best Picture because I wanted Avatar to win, what a bummer isn’t it? Avatar should’ve got Best Original Score (“I See You” Theme from Avatar) but it didn’t, I’m glad that Up took it home.
    I wasn’t that thrilled about the winners but I’m really glad I watched the whole entire ceremony!