8:50 — Pausing the DVR for a bathroom/beer/snacks break as everyone tallies up their pool picks so far. Live blogging will resume in a bit… unless there's no one out there… if there are any Whos out there in Whoville, give a yelp and I'll keep going.
8:45 — So far Martin and Baldwin are hilarious, but evening's best re-occurring effect is any time Jeff Bridges appears on screen or stage. His beard is cool standard to which all other human's facial hair can only aspire.
8:40 — Stiller as Na'vi will haunt my nightmares for weeks. Scarier than anything in Paranormal Activity. ("It was this or the Nazi uniform, but the show seemed a little Hitler heavy…") Wait, I take that back. Cameron's wife, actress Suzi Amis is much scarier. She looks like Cameron makes her sleep outside in a hole and live on roots and berries.
Star Trek wins Best Make Up for ears, tattoos and green chicks. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it, "Wednesday."
8:34 — For those of you who think the Short Animated Films category is too familiar and easy, here's Short Documentary! Music by Prudence wins.
Okay, UPDATE TIME! So what was the deal with the bossy lady pushing the nice, polite director out of the way to speak? Turns out quite a big, acrimonious deal… She was the producer and there were "creative differences" during the making of Music by Prudence, ending in a legal battle. She hates him! She really hates him! Good stuff, eh? Salon.com has the He Said-She Said scoop straight from both their mouths: The story behind Oscar's "Kanye moment"
8:30 — The first major upset of the evening! Logorama takes Best Short Animated Film right out from under a Matter of Loaf and Death, the usual Wallace and Gromit favorite.
8:25 — When is someone going to hold a telethon for illiteracy in Hollywood? So far, teleprompters: 4, presenters: 0.
8:20 — The on-stage reunion of some of Hughes's once-young actors is very nice. So I'll refrain from making a snarky remark about Judd Nelson stuffing his pockets at the lobby buffet.
8:15– Zena the Warrior Princess, er I mean Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick present a tribute to John Hughes. Lots of great scenes from everyone's favorite Hughes films. Sadly short on Curly Sue and Baby's Day Out clips.
8:10 – Downey, Jr.'s periwinkle bow-tie steals a million hearts with a wink. Fey's leopard-spot dress goes and cries in its trailer. "It's a collaboration between handsome gifted people and sickly little mole people." Meanwhile, The Hurt Locker wins Best Original Screenplay. Mark Boal gives a nice speech, but Jason Reitman is not amused that they accidentally wore the same hair and beards to the ceremony.
8:05 — As expected, "The Weary Kind" wins for Crazy Heart, letting everyone see just how freakishly tall T-Bone Burnett is and how charmingly southern Ryan Bingham is.
8:00 – The animated characters bit is cute, though billions of people still don't know what the hell The Secret of the Kells is. Oh, and of course Up wins Best Animated Feature.
7:59 — Nobody murders a teleprompter like Cameron Diaz.
7:53– Christoph Waltz wins Best Supporting Actor of course, but his acceptance speech is some sort of dicey extended metaphor about being on a ship with Quentin Tarantino and Harvey Weinstein. The orchestra conductor is too confused–or excited–to play him off the stage.
7:40 — Wow, because they're long-time movie stars, Martin and Baldwin are getting away with a lot of great, edgy jokes that would have been frowned on had Jon Stewart made them. Luckily we still have J-Lo to sneeringly disapprove. Or just not get them. There are some dud lines, but "tensions between blacks and whites" and "what's up with all the Hitler memorabilia?" win my cynical heart early.
7:33 — During NPH's saucy, Jackman-esque opening number the camera cuts to Cameron in the audience, but there's no light on him, so he looks like an anonymous witness on 60 Minutes. Someone's already fired. Nobody leaves Jimmy in the dark.
7:30 – Sorry, but having the Best Actor/Actress nominees stand up in front at the start feels like a school assembly awards. And Jeremy Renner appears to Keebler Elf Sized. He's like a (even Mini-er) Mini Ben Kingsley.