Last summer I read the four Twilight novels back to back and immediately understood why millions of women around the world went gaga for Stephenie Meyer's fictional Forks, Washington-based universe. While I don't consider myself a Twihard by any means, I'm also not too proud to admit that I did, in fact, enjoy the books. And even though New Moon was my least favorite in the series, I still had high hopes for its adaptation. I mean, it just kinda had to be better than Twilight, right?
If you were reading redblog a year ago then you know that while I had several issues with the first film, I did find some of its cheesiness a bit charming. (What you might not know is that I watched it in the theater again — twice — after I wrote that review and actually liked it more each time.) Therefore, I figured that with a new director (Chris Weitz) and a bigger budget that would surely remedy the embarrassingly bad "special effects situation," there was no way the sequel wouldn't be a superior film. Alas, fellow Twilight fans, I have bad news for you: I was very, very disappointed by New Moon.
For the most part, the adaptation follows the story arc of the novel. Vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and mortal high schooler Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) are happy together for like two seconds, but then a few members of Edward's family start lusting after Bella's blood when she gets a paper cut (at her own birthday party, no less), and so Edward's all, "Sorry, babe, but this isn't gonna work." Bella sinks into a deep depression when the entire Cullen clan skips town, and the only person who is eventually able to cheer her up is her old buddy Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who's put on approximately one gazillion pounds of muscle — and continued to use Crest White Stripes without abandon on his already-blinding choppers — since we last saw him. It is then revealed that he simply cannot bear to have his shirt on. It physically pains him to do so — he gets a really wicked contact rash and no one on in La Push (where he and his fellow Quileute tribe members hang) can figure out how to help him. 
OK, so I made that part up. Jacob's shirtlessness is never actually explicitly explained in the film, but one can infer that it has something to do with him being a werewolf. But forget about the werewolf part for a second because I just need to say that it is seriously Ridiculous (notice the capital r?) how much Jacob's running around half-nekkid in this movie. Or running around half-nekkid in the pouring rain. Or in slo-mo. I just kept thinking, "This is like Baywatch… with guys" during all of his scenes (and some of Edward's — he also goes shirtless a few times and has a classic/hilarious bad-boy-walking-in-slo-mo scene to boot). I suppose I should be happy that some dudes are getting objectified-to-the-max up on the big screen for a change, but instead I just felt embarrassed for them.
Back to the plot… Just as Bella's life finally regains some normalcy and her friendship with Jacob starts turning into something more (no one can resist all that shirtlessness), the Cullens pop up again. Specifically, Edward's sister Alice (Ashley Greene) decides to drop by, and around that same time the girls learn that Edward thinks Bella is dead (long story). Because she can see glimpses of the future, Alice knows that Edward plans to take a page from Romeo and Juliet and — since vampires can't off themselves — will attempt to join Bella in death by putting on a fab-u light show over in Italy. Meaning, he's going to stand in the sun and reveal his sparkling vampire skin to humans, thus ensuring he'll be killed by the royal vampire clan, the Volturi, 'cause showing your bling-bling face in public is against their rules. Why would Edward be so distraught over Bella's death? Wasn't he the one who left her? Yes, of course, but he was just trying to protect her — he really does love her — but vampires shouldn't be with humans — daaahhhh!!!!! Don't you see how complicated their relationship is?!?! Why else do you think they're always fumbling over their words and gasping and sighing and breathing heavy?!? Because it's hard to be a human and vampire in love, people!
Since I know many of you reading this are going to be dragged to the movie by your girlfriends/wives/friends and may have not read the book, I will not reveal anything else about what goes down after Alice and Bella head to Europe. Will they be sidetracked by all of the gelato vendors and forget about trying to stop Edward from dazzling himself to death? Will Jacob ever put on a shirt again? You're just going to have to see it to find out.
For those of you who, like me, were genuinely looking forward to New Moon, let me tell you the few high points in the film before I detail why it didn't live up to my expectations overall. Positive #1: The Volturi scenes. I had doubted Dakota Fanning's ability to pull off Jane, but I was completely wrong. She was perfect. As was Michael Sheen as Aro and Jamie Campbell Bower as Caius. They were exactly what I had pictured in my mind when I read the books — both in looks and mannerisms. Positive #2: A cool chase scene with Original Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) and the wolves set to a Thom Yorke track that I love. Positive #3: The three standouts from the first film were on their game again this time around — namely, Anna Kendrick and Michael Welch as two of Bella's high school friends, and Billy Burke as Charlie, Bella's dad. Unfortunately, they only got a few minutes of face time each. Positive #4: Face Punch. Enough said.
Now let's talk about the The Bad.
Remember all that horrid pancake makeup used to make the Cullens pale as ghosts in Twilight? It's gone now… but in its place are very disturbing golden contacts for all of the vampires. Way more noticeable and unnerving than in the first film. These are supposed to be the most beautiful people in the world, but instead they looked like freaks (yes, even Edward) because of whatever was done to their eyes. 
The Volturi's glowing-red eyes were fine — but the huge golden irises on the Cullens simply looked painful. (I'm very curious to hear whether anyone else noticed this, so if you did, please let me know in the comments.)
My dreams of awesome special effects were dashed early on as well… the first time we got a good look at one of the wolves, I just shook my head and thought, "Good God, that is Gmork from The NeverEnding Story." (Even though you all know TNES is one of my favorite movies, Gmork should not be making an appearance in a modern-day film.) The wolf effects did get better as the film progressed, but I just couldn't shake my initial reaction. As for the other special effects (vampire battles, fast-running, etc.), they were OK. But a lot of work needs to be done in order for Eclipse and (presumably) Breaking Dawn to not be completely ridiculed, as both of those stories are much more action-based.
Let's see, what else? Bella was still as annoying as ever. The dialogue throughout was peppered with laughable, inane cheese-poofs. "Bella, you give me everything… just by breathing!" Brother, please. (WHY OH WHY is screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg on board again for Eclipse? Even the best actors in the world can't make craptastic lines sound anything other than craptastic.) I don't care if some of this gooeyness came directly from the books. It doesn't work on film.
As for Chris Weitz, I feel he went the safe route and made a movie that he knew would please the hardcore fans. All of the fifteen-year-olds sitting behind me last night thought it was "AMAAAAAZING." I, however, was thrown by some of the pacing (the reveal of Jacob's secret was handled horribly), bemused by some of more artsy shots (when I wasn't battling motion sickness — 'twas lots of spinny camerawork goin' on…), and shocked at just how boring — and devoid of romance — New Moon was all in all. Maybe it will grow on me like Twilight did… but that would require me to see it again. (Not likely.) So here's to hoping that next summer, Eclipse will redeem this franchise. They can start with finding Jacob a shirt.
Posted on November 21, 2009 at 9:29 am
I saw New Moon last night and liked it. I know what everyone is saying because there was alot left unexplained. It is always harder to convey emotions on screen than it is in a book. I saw the Twilight movie first when it came out on dvd and I think because I had not yet read the books I liked it. It does get better when you watch it numerous times. I then read Twilight and was hooked. I bought the books and read them back to back. I was glad all 4 were already available before I became addicted. What I really love about the series is that my 20 year old daughter who has never picked up a book to read for fun read them as voraciously as I did, and I have always loved to read. She can now see the enjoyment of reading a book, and has read others now. Like most fans New Moon was my least favorite in the series. Lets face it though, these are long stories, and alot is going to be left out in a movie. People who have not read the books will be somewhat lost, or not “get it” about Bella and Edward. I re-read Twilight before seeing New Moon, but did not re-read New Moon. I will read it again now that I have seen the movie, if I can get it back from my 22 year old daughter who is in college and has less time to read for fun. All in all these are great stories for all ages. Probably (duh) more for females than males, but good books. I can’t wait till all 4 movies are available on dvd. It will be fun to see the whole story played out on screen. This is not going anywhere for a while folks, so if you can’t beat us join us!
Posted on November 21, 2009 at 11:16 am
i took my daughter to see new moon and the theater was packed i thought it was a good movie but lot and lots of laughing in the theater to many corny funny spots not enough romance and seriousness
Posted on November 23, 2009 at 10:13 am
god what did they do to Robert he looks so fake and to white and those weird eyes they gave him, he was way cuter in twilight, i thought that twilight was bad, new moon was so disappointing !! Robert and kristen had no chemistry unlike the first movie and Kristen is the worst actress she is so fake and not natural, cant stand her i thought that Jacob did the best job in the movie, so disappointing how they ruined edwards look he looks weird know….
Posted on November 23, 2009 at 5:55 pm
If they keep Dakota Fanning for the next Twilight installment they’ll have to give her a bigger role, maybe have her hook up with Jacob, etc.
Posted on November 23, 2009 at 8:21 pm
To the person that said this is a fad…books are not fads. The vampire genre has been around forever and while I detest the Twilight series, I have to admit it now has its place amongst other (better written) works of vampire fiction.
Anyhow, with that said, I saw the movie because of my two younger sisters who wanted to go. My mother also went along. We both agreed that only the teenagers would like it and that the best scene was the Victoria wolf chase scene (Thom Yorke, wolfbears, and red heads are a good combination apparently). The movie could have been done better, but that’s what happens when you have a horrible screenplay and a director who doesn’t know how to pace (Golden Compass was horrible also and I love the novels to pieces).
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 6:49 am
Good review, but 2 points- they did (although not explicitly) explain about the “R”ediculous non-shirtedness- the “Fever” – they are too “HOT” to wear them . . .
On the contacts- I did notice them, but they didn’t bother me. I was forced to watch both movies by my sister (30, but she swoons like a 13 year old over the “emotional pornography” of the books). Ewwwww. So, anyway, if you are already putting up with the “R”ediculous, what’s another brown contact?
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 11:19 am
I’m not sure why, if you read the books like you say you did, you don’t understand why Jacob and the rest of the wolves are always shirtless.
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 11:26 am
To the commenter above… this movie should be able to be understood by those who did NOT read the book, so my point in my review was that they did not explain the shirtlessness in the movie, so it became this laughable (and confusing) thing to the uninitiated. (It was laughable to me, too, even though I had the background story from the book — just way too dramatized and sensualized — done clearly to make all the teenage girls go insane).
So while I personally knew why they were shirtless, my goal in reviewing this film was to take the movie at face value and see if it made sense on its own. It didn’t. They never addressed the reason for the shirtlessness in the movie. (And before you say… “well shouldn’t everyone KNOW that their shirts rip off when they transform?” I ask back to you, “Then why do they still have on pants?”)
See Locke’s recently posted “Non-Twihard” review for more things that made no sense to people who hadn’t read the novels.
- Erika
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I personally think that what people are missing here, is that this second move (and book for that matter), “new Moon” was more NECESSARY than for entertainment purposes. I have seen both movies, as has my daughter, and we have also read al four books. I wasnt expecting “new Moon” to be as entertaining as “Twilight” or as “Eclipse” and “breaking Dawn” will be. Why? Because I Paid attention to the books and again, knew that this was more more out of necessaity than entertainement. We had to be introduced to the werewolves. We had to be introduced to the Volturi. And every book, no matter which one it is contains more detail than the movie ( if it happens to make it into a movie) so Im not sure why that is such a surprise to some. Anyway, I reswpect everyone’s opinions here, and for those who were disappointed in “New Moon”, I am sorry for that. “eclipse” and “breaking Dawn” however, will take your breathe away, Im more than certain so do please keep watching! I saw above where someone used the word “twihard” LOL Thats cute. I guess even at the age of 38, almost 39, I most definately AM a “Twihard” as you put it! Have a great day everybody and be sure to see “Eclipse”. Opening day for that one (according to what I read on yahoo yesterday is June 30 2010. I, as well as my daughter, will be waiting with baited breath, and will be there on opening day, just as we were for “new Moon”.
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 12:17 pm
And for pete’s sake, PLEASE look over all the typos in my comment! LOL Ihate typos but am using my 5 year old sons computer, sitting on my knees in front of it, and most certainly made some mistakes in that one! LOL
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 12:33 pm
The reason why ‘Jacob’ has his shirt off so much is because in the book, he transforms into a werewolf very often and it rips his shirts and ruins them. Instead, he just carries shorts in his mouth, so that once he turns back into human he can just put it on so he’s not walking around naked.
I mean Taylor looks damn hot without his shirt regardless for the reasoning behind it, other than the fact that it definitely helps the franchise.
-Trang
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Yes, I noticed their eyes, but I couldnt put my finger on what was weird. Now that you said it I realized that’s what it was. It was pretty annoying. It took away from the beauty of what they’re supposed to be. Indeed, they look like freaks.
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Great review!!! Your review is so right on, I was so excited for the movie and was very dissapointed by the outcome! The contacts this time around were distracting and the lack of character development, dialogue, and Cullens made this movie a great dissapointment for me. I love the series of books and am now re-reading New Moon…I really enjoy the book even more after seeing such a ho-hum movie! The books are all much better than the movies, but I am still holding out hope that the next 2 movies will be good!! I am still a fan, even with a dissapointing New Moon movie!
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I thought New moon Was GREAT .The thing most people have to remember is The movie industry is trying to fit the story line of the book into 2 hours. They did a great job under the circumstances. I can hardly wait for the next two installments. Great job Robert ,Kristen and the rest of the Twilight crew….
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I think the movie was fabulous and as for whoever said Rob and Kristen didn’t have chemistry in the movie is nuts. What makes the movies is their chemistry together. As for how they adapted the book into a movie, I think they did a good job of conveying it on screen, a lot better then most movies I have seen adapted from books. You can’t possibly leave in everything from the book or you will have a 3 to 4 hour movie on your hands. I know it definitely left me so excited to see Eclipse and read the books again!
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:14 pm
You know I have said this before and I will say it again, The Twilight Saga has Harry Potter Syndrome. Now the acting in HP is great and can’t wait for the last two HP movies to come out same as I can’t wait for all the Twilight movies to come out but face it, they destroyed HP and they are now destroying Twilight. A different director each movie, leaving out key points or key characters (Peeves… Come on people…), and I’m sorry but I am not going to put R-Patz in that list cause I actually do like him and Kristin as Bella and Edward. Thats just me I guess. I went and reread Twilight yesterday and watched Twilight again and it just hasn’t grown on me… I do agree, after the fiasco that was Twilight with Melissa’s horrible writing they should of fired her and hired a new screenwriter. and a 50 million dollar budget for a movie that is part of such a major tween-cult following is not enough to satisfy everyone. Hopefully with as much money as New Moon made they will throw some extra money at Eclipse now to be able to get the effects and makeup better. And who was wearing a wig in Twilight? if anything it was bad dye jobs. New Moon is wigs for some of the Characters. And then Kristen will have the wig in Eclipse.
I have yet to see New Moon but all this negativity makes me want to see it more. I tend to like movies that people hate… And yeah, the only time Jake really wears a shirt in Eclipse is when he breaks Bella from school and Alice, that should be interesting, I don’t think we will see Taylor in a shirt anytime soon. Wait. He wears a shirt in Breaking Dawn. Thats right!!! Poor Emmetts clothes.
Though I must say I am looking forward to the action in Eclipse I am not looking forward to this new Victoria… What is it, Bryce Dallas Howard? Whatever, I think what Summit did to Rachelle was uncalled for. 10 days is nothing compared to what Peter, Robert, and Kristin were doing this summer. Honestly happy that they Recast the wolf pack. I didn’t like the original guy playing Sam.
Okay thats my 2 cents on this. Thanks!
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I too have read all four books. New Moon was also my least favorite. I saw the movie and was extremely disappointed. I felt this would be a very exciting love triangle with all the key players. It turned out to be just alot of scenes put together. There was no movement into each scene like the book. I wanted more of a romance with Jacob and Bella. This would make it believeable when she has to choose between them. I have been watching all the talk shows and there was so much hype about team Jacob and team Edward, I just didn’t see it. As you stated, I also found twilight a little boring. I went to a midnight showing and fell asleep. These movies are great if you are 13 years old and maybe that is what they are going for.
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I love the way this movie (along with Twilight) have been dissected by those who simply do NOT understand the draw it has. I don’t think anyone believes these are the best books ever written, or best movies ever made…that is NOT the point. The point is, that women are connecting with these books/movies because the “feeling” of being in love, losing a love, and the rollercoaster ride in-between, are strongly portrayed. For those who try to dissect it into something else, just stop…it is an escape from reality (isn’t this sometimes why we read???), that for better or worse, keeps us reading, and re-reading, and watching/re-watching these books/movies, over, and over again. It is not classical literature, or profound acting, it is simply just something women can relate to (same reason for why we watch those movies that make us cry when no one else is around).
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:36 pm
both the movies were great cant wait to see eclipse in june 2010
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:38 pm
new moon was awesome until edward left her but if u read the book u already knew it was comming… he was trying to protect her but really he was just hurting her.. i hope bella and edward stay together, Sorry jacab
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Well, boo to you, are you a guy? Twilight is one of the BEST movies I’ve ever seen! New Moon is even BETTER than Twilight was!
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I don’t agree on some levels espeically the overall movie being a disappointment. I did think the scenes of the Volturi scenes were OK, wish more was done there and Feliz looked wwwweird!
Yes, there was romance lacking here BUT I loved the movie and enjoyed all its parts, yeah Jacob taking his shirt off ugh! But he does have his shirt off for good reasons in the book, maybe a happy medium could be found here. Loved the music and well I would watch again. Like you I need to see Twilight a bit to simply enjoy it now..but again I ENJOYED New Moon!!!
Thanks for the great breakdown in your review also!
Here’s to Eclipse and Breaking Dawn (crossing fingers)
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I actually kinda agree with you!!! I was so disappointed when I first saw the movie. I actually liked the fighting scenes, I think Kirsten did a better job acting Bella this tie around, hated the stupid lines given to edward, I mean in what world is Edward a jokster!!!!!! That’s Jacob’s job!!! It felt bleh!! It needed more feeling but I don’t blame the acting, because I think all the elements were there to make an excellent movie, I blame it on the editing and post-production. The music for the breakup scene is so wrong!!!!!!!!!!!! I saw it a second time and liked it a little better, besides the screaming and jacob obsessed fans didn’t actually let me enjoy the movie the first time around!!!! And the eyes think u r totally right!! I didn’t love twilight but I think it was better edited.
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 3:18 pm
I think they messed up the direction of the film.
I mean make the distinction like hardwick did. is it twilight the adaptation of the book or twilight the film?
secondly, i agree with a lot of people on here that edward and bella’s relationship SUCKED. it could have just been kristen’s acting, but I IN NO WAY SAW A CRAZY IN LOVE TEENAGER. :/// flat acting on her part.
jacob was hot :) but it was weird to see him half naked all the time. i also hated how they flashed the fight scenes between the wolf pack and the vampires. First laurent, then chasing victoria… those scenes were SERIOUSLY THE MOST EXCITING PART OF THE MOVIE!
Taylor lautner was phenomenal in this movie, he really made me ache because I could see the emotions and feel them during his love scenes with Kristen.(especially at the end!!!) I cried, but I loved it :)
i didn’t really like the soundtrack either. i mean the first one had “the score” by carter burwell and i wish they incorporated that into new moon more. THEY DIDNT EVEN MENTION BELLA’S LULLABY!!!!! >:[
all in all, it was a fix for my twihard obsession, not my fav. i liked twilight better than new moon. I’m still hopeful eclipse will dominate!
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Well… I don’t usually critisize people and their job and likes and dislikes, but as a huge Twilight saga fan, I have to say that true “Twilighters” hated this movie. It was well done, and everyone did a good job and all, but seriously, couldn’t it be a bit more like the book and a lot less like someone else decided to make it??? I liked the work they did, but hated the story line of the movie. They did not include a bunch of really important details from the movie and decided to add ridiculous things to it… I’m sorry but I absolutely loved the books and believe they are ruining them with this movies…