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Please George Lucas, make one more Star Wars film. Wachowski Brothers, you know you have another Matrix in you. Michael Sheen needs you if he's going achieve his goal of appearing in every single geek franchise. Yes, the featured player in the Underworld series, currently filming a role in New Moon (Twilight 2 : Twi-harder), is rumored to be in talks to appear in the next Bond film.

Oh, and not just appear, but be the Bond Villain. And not just any Bond villain, but the Bond Villain, the Biggest of the Bond Bads, Dr. Evil himself! No, not Lorne Michaels… Ernst Stavro Blofeld! He of the (usually) chrome dome! The white Persian lap cat! The fabulous secret lairs!

In the original books and films, Blofeld was the head of the global crime organization SPECTRE (which replaced the Soviet SMERSH spy organization as Bond's nemesis..es..nemesi..ses). However, seeing as how the first two Daniel Craig Bond "reboots" have established the mysterious international Quantum gang, so my guess is Blofeld will be revealed to be the head of Quantum, not SPECTRE. 'Cause "SPECTRE" is so last century. "Quantum" is way 21st Century. (See Sam's enlightening post in the comments as to the real reason for the SPECTRE/Quantum change.)

The first movie Blofeld, in From Russia With Love, was played by Anthony Dawson, who also played the character in Thunderball. My personal favorite Blofeld was Donald Pleasence in You Only Live Twice. Piranha moat. 'Nuff said. (It was also the first time we saw Ernst's scarred face.)

However, probably the best acted Blofeld was Telly Savalas' in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. (The Rocky Horror Picture Show's Charles Gray also played him in Diamonds are Forever, the character's last major appearance, other than a gag bit in For Your Eyes Only.)

So the Sheen rumor raises three questions.

First, is Sheen right for the role? Despite my often gently ribbing Sheen for his film choices, I think he's a swell actor and would be tremendous as a Bond villain. The script for the new Bond is being co-written by Peter Morgan, who has worked with Sheen on the Tony Blair films (The Deal, The Queen, and the forthcoming The Special Relationship) and on Frost/Nixon.

Second, would he be a bald Blofeld? Would the character have any of the old, over-the-top trappings? After all, the bald thing, the cat thing, those have been pretty safely remaindered to the satire bin by Mike Myers. Could they be dusted off and somehow given back some sinister, mysterious power? I doubt it. Shave the head, maybe. But leave the cat in the bag.

Finally, does the new Bond series even need a Blofeld? If they give Bond a reoccurring archenemy, an all-powerful, far-reaching Big Bad who always turns up to bedevil 007, does that start to inch the new series–praised by many, myself included, for its sleek, rugged realism (relatively speaking)–back toward campy self-parody?

Super-villains mean your hero starts to become more like a superhero, and the appeal of the Daniel Craig Bond is his down-to-earth humanity. If you get caught up trying to make each new villain bigger and badder and more outrageous than the last, you end up with a blond Christopher Walken in a blimp.

For now, I still trust in the producers and filmmakers behind the franchise's rebirth, so if they want to bring back Blofeld, I'm willing to believe that, as they've done with the past two films, they'll do so with cool restraint, making the character work with the "new Bond," not drag it back to cheese-ball hell.

Which, sadly, would mean no piranha moats.

(Don't worry, Michael. There's probably going to be an Indiana Jones V, and I'm sure there'll be piranha moats there. Or Guillermo del Toro can write some orc-piranhas into The Hobbit for you.)

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